The holidays are almost upon us, and I absolutely love this time of year! Why? More than anything, it’s the opportunity to reconnect with the special people in our lives who we might not have seen in a while. Of course, everything about the holidays is special to me, but the people are what really get me excited. Friends, family, neighbours, and acquaintances take this occasion to visit one another in person, which I’m sure we can all agree is more valuable to us this time after the pandemic caused so many missed opportunities to reconnect. For many of you, this may be the first time your friends and family members get to meet your new baby, which is such a magical moment for everyone involved. Babies bring us together in an extraordinary way. Now, I don’t want to sound like a grinch here, but if you’ve been working hard to teach your baby some independent sleep skills and they’re finally sleeping through the night, I just want to warn you that even though this is a wonderful time to celebrate and spend time with the people you love, it’s also an absolute minefield of potential sleep sabotage. I’m going to single out grandparents here because they’re the most likely to be staying with you and the most likely to take liberties with your rules around your little one, but the same strategies apply to anyone who might be nudging you to ease up on bedtime and naps so they can visit with your baby. Common examples of this “nudging” include…
All of these things are said with the best intentions, of course. Grandparents are usually more than willing to get up and tend to their grandkids. You can’t really fault people for wanting to spend time with your adorable babies, can you? Intentions aside, though, sticking to your guns when people ask you to push back your little one’s bedtime can be tough, but I assure you, it’s necessary. One late night is often enough to leave your baby overtired, making it tough to get them to sleep, causing less restful sleep when they eventually do go down, and often resulting in nighttime and early wakeups, all of which leaves your baby tired and irritable the next day. And whose problem is it then? Well, yours, obviously. The first thing most people do when a baby starts to cry is hand them back over to their parents, thinking they know how to get them settled. Then the bad night’s sleep leads to a tough day of naps, leading to another rough night, and here we go again, just in time for the holidays. I’m not trying to be an alarmist, but things can get out of hand pretty quickly, so today, I wanted to give you some tips for politely but firmly putting your foot down when your houseguests ask you to hold off on putting your baby to bed. Be confident in your decision. Remind yourself of what you and your baby were going through when they weren’t sleeping well, and ask yourself if you can go through it again, especially during the holidays. Remember that you’re doing the right thing for everyone involved, and that’s never selfish. Explain the situation. If people understand the struggle, you’ve undertaken to get your baby sleeping well. They’ll be much more likely to accept it when you insist on strict bedtime and nap schedules. So let your guests know that you’re right about teaching your baby some sleep skills and that they’ll need to go to bed at specific times, with no exceptions. Highlight the rewards. This is really the best method I’ve found for appeasing houseguests who don’t know the value of sleep. When they’re pushing for you to let baby, say, skip a nap, ask them, “Would you rather spend three hours with a crying baby or two hours with a happy one?” After all, it’s tough to bond with a baby when they’re fussing and irritable, so remind Grandma and Grandpa that it’s a choice between forming those cherished memories of their grandchild laughing and cooing in their arms or significantly more forgettable ones of them fussing, screaming, and reaching for their parents because they’re tired and miserable. Take deep breaths. I know that sounds facile, but deep breathing really is an effective method of calming your brain and body down in moments when, let’s say, just as an example, your mother-in-law goes to “check” on your baby after they’ve been napping for 15 minutes and then emerges from their room holding a tired, bleary-eyed baby in their arms, claiming that baby was already awake when they walked in. Y’know. Just hypothetically. Not like your mother-in-law would dream of doing such a thing. Take a few deep breaths, seriously. Before you say anything, just smile, breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, and remember that they’re just head-over-heels in love with their grandchild and didn’t do it to overrule or defy you. Give it a minute, and once you’ve cooled off a bit, calmly tell her that you’d like to see if baby can get a slightly longer nap and take her back to her crib. Be the Boss. Above all, remember, this is your child, and you know what’s best for them, so don’t let other people’s suggestions or experiences influence your judgment. You may hear things like, “We always let our little guy stay up late on Christmas Eve so he’d sleep late on Christmas morning,” or “You’ve got to make exceptions during the holidays.” None of those people know your baby like you do, so all of their opinions combined don’t hold a candle to your knowledge and proficiency in this arena. You don’t need to be a tyrant, but you should never forget that you’re in charge because you’re the expert! So rock that title and do what you know is right. The great news is, this is usually a one-time ordeal because once your family and friends see how well your little one sleeps, they quickly learn to appreciate why you take it so seriously. After experiencing first-hand how delightful it is to be around a well-rested baby, they won’t be asking questions when they come back next year. Instead, they’ll just enjoy the experience and quietly marvel at how awesome you are at raising kids. So happy holidays, everybody! Have fun, enjoy the season, and sleep well! AuthorErin Neri - Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting since 2016. When you’re planning a family holiday with a baby, an important thing to consider is how your travel plans are going to affect your child’s sleep routine. You'll have a much more enjoyable vacation if you organize your trip in a way that allows for as little disruption as possible to your little ones' sleep schedule. Honouring your little ones' sleep schedules will help make sure she gets the rest she needs to be happy, healthy, and alert during your trip, which is bound to make your holiday more enjoyable for everyone! Here are some tips to help make sure your baby gets the sleep he needs during your travels: Tip 1: Don’t over-schedule One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to try to pack in all the fun and adventure they might have had back in their “child-free” days. The fact is, when you travel with a baby you can’t plan to go bungee-jumping in the morning, swim with dolphins in the early afternoon, go parasailing in the late afternoon, and go on a dinner cruise in the evening. It’s better to slow down the pace and make sure you schedule regular naps and early bedtimes, just like you would at home. Tip 2: Be consistent with naps and bedtime An occasional nap in the car seat or a later-than-usual bedtime probably won't do too much harm. Still, if your baby's naps are all over the place and she goes to bed much later than usual several days in a row, your baby will become so overtired and cranky that a complete meltdown will be inevitable. Tip 3: Be patient as your baby acclimatized to the new environment Even if your baby is the best little sleeper in the world at home, when you're in a strange environment, things might be very different. It's normal for babies and toddlers to test boundaries around sleep when they're someone new. Just because you have specific rules at home, they won't automatically understand that the same rules apply to Grandma's house. In a strange place, your baby might cry for a while at bedtime or wake up at odd times during the night. The best way to handle this kind of behaviour is to react the same way you would at home. Go into the room every five minutes or so. Offer a bit of reassurance, but other than that, don't bend your rules. If you hang on tight to your consistency, within the first night or two, your child will be used to the new environment and will be sleeping well again. Tip 4. Make sure you bring your child’s sleeping toy and/or blanket If your child has a treasured comfort item (their Lovey), it will go a long way to helping him feel safe and secure enough to fall asleep in a strange environment. Forget it at your peril! It is also a great idea to bring their Sleepsack. Packing light with the thoughts that you will purchase a new Sleepsack when you arrive can make sense. But I don't advise it! Sleeping in his or her Sleepsack from home can be one of the things that can stay familiar for them in a new environment. After all, it feels like home, and perhaps, more importantly, it smells like home! So bring the one from home, it can be a huge help with making baby feel comfortable in a new place. Tip 5. Remember to think about the environment where baby will be sleeping. You have heard me say it before, many times, we ALL sleep better when it's dark in the room. Blackout dark! So it only makes sense to think about where you and your little ones will be sleeping and if they will have appropriate window coverings to make sure that it's going to be dark enough for sleep when the sun is still up at 10 PM or rises at 4 AM. It's best just to pack a few Large Black Garbage Bags and some painters tape in case you need to blackout some windows. Or invest in a permanent traveling blackout solution like SleepOut Portable Blackout Curtains (Discount code: tothemoonsleep10) or SlumberPod patented blackout tent that fits perfectly over your pack n' play, travel crib or SlumberTot Inflatable Toddler Bed (discount code: tothemoonsleep). Another thing that you need to consider is environmental noise. If you are going to be sharing a room and you want to be able to move about a little more freely. I would bring your child's white noise machine. Your baby is used to having his or her white noise machine blocking out environmental noises in your home, and it works like a charm. Plus, all of the other health benefits that come with using a white noise machine. It will allow you to move about and not wake her. It will make sure that the loud 1 AM crowd that sings down the hallway will not disturb your sleeping bundle! Bring the machine or get one of the many travel white noise options!! Tip 6. If you’re not a co-sleeping family, don’t start now! Another big mistake parents make is to start sharing a bed with their baby or toddler while travelling. Even if it's only for a few nights, if your baby decides this is her new preferred way to sleep, you could find yourself dealing with a big problem when you get home and try and put her back in her crib. The good news is; most hotels have a crib you can use or rent. You could also take your portable playpen along and use that as a crib. You will also want to make sure that you can create some kind of barrier between you and your little one(s). Your kiddos sleep in their own room at home and part of the reason for this being so helpful is because when they wake-up (which we all do periodically throughout the night), they are not stimulated by seeing their favourite people in the world. Seeing you leads to them wanting your attention, aka crying or calling out for you to come and get them. It's best if they can be in a separate room while travelling. Or maybe a large walk-in closet or ensuite. When in doubt, bring along a very dark bed sheet and several tacks. Tack that bad boy to the roof between your bed and your littles playpen or crib. Seriously, I know it sounds a little crazy! But it actually makes a HUGE difference! It makes them feel more secure being in a space with clear boundaries. It will make it easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. So there you have it! Traveling with a little one unfortunately isn't about you. Just like everything else in life since you've had kids; it's all about them! Plus we all know that a tired child is a messy bundle of emotions that turns into tears and tantrums. You will have a much better time if you let them sleep. Interested in even more travel sleep trips to make your family vacation a success while not compromising your child's sleep? Check out our Travel & Sleep Guide for all your sleep and travel needs. Happy sleeping will lead to happy travels! Erin Neri About the AuthorI am the mother of two amazing little boys who did not come pre-programmed with the skills to sleep well independently. I knows how hard it is to function on little to no sleep, I understands how this impacts your ability to be the best version of the mom that you want to be. This is what led me to become a Certified Sleep Consultant and the founder of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting. I am also a member of the International Association of Professional Sleep Consultants. I have a background in Psycology and have worked with families and young children in many different settings for over 19 years. One of the best parts of my job is seeing the impact that TEACHING their little moon bugs healthy/independent sleep skills has on the momma's!! |
To The Moon and Back Sleep ConsultingProviding families the tools & support they need to get their little ones sleeping through the night and napping like champs! Everyone has more fun when they are well rested! Visit Wollino - Discount Code: TOTHEMOONANDBACK10
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