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Discover the hidden sleep disruptors and learn how to create a calm sleep environment for your baby. Improve your child’s rest.  Sleep is crucial for babies and young children. However, many parents struggle with putting babies to bed and poor sleep quality despite their best efforts. The problem often lies in the nursery itself. There are hidden sleep disruptors that interfere with your baby’s rest. These disruptors can be small details you may not notice at first. This article explains the hidden sleep disruptors in nurseries and how to fix them. By understanding and removing these disruptors, you help your baby sleep better. Creating a peaceful sleep space supports healthy rest habits that last. What Might Be Affecting Baby's Sleep Babies often have bad sleep because their sleep cycles and patterns are still developing. Their brains and bodies are learning how to regulate when to sleep and wake. Many factors can disturb this process, including hunger, discomfort, and overstimulation. One common disruptor is moving with your baby and changing the schedule. For example, rocking, carrying, or relocating your baby frequently can interrupt their ability to settle and stay asleep in one place. This movement can confuse their internal cues and delay their learning to self-soothe. As a result, inconsistent routines can make sleep more challenging for both the baby and the parents. Baby Needs Routine the Most Maintaining a consistent sleep routine is essential for helping your baby learn when it is time to rest. Regular patterns help your baby’s body and brain recognize sleep signals. When juggling bedtime routines, including frequent moving during falling asleep or sleeping in different places, your baby can become confused. Consistency provides security and supports the development of healthy sleep habits. This stability helps your baby feel secure and makes it easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Here are some tips to maintain a consistent sleep routine and reduce disruptions from moving with your baby:
 Your baby needs routine and familiarity for a good night’s sleep. Lighting and Noise: Silent Sleep Saboteurs Two major disruptors in nurseries are lighting and noise. Bright or inconsistent lighting confuses your baby’s internal clock. Harsh overhead lights or night lights that are too bright can delay sleep onset. Use blackout curtains to block outside light during naps and bedtime. Choose soft, warm lighting if a night light is needed. Noise can also interrupt sleep cycles. Sudden sounds, like doors closing or loud voices, may startle your baby awake. Constant background noise, such as a fan or traffic, may also prevent deep sleep. Try using pink noise, white noise machines, or soft music to mask sharp sounds. Maintaining consistent quiet helps your baby settle faster and stay asleep longer. These are two common but often overlooked hidden sleep disruptors. The Role of Temperature and Air Quality Temperature and air quality significantly affect sleep quality. Rooms that are too hot or too cold cause discomfort. Experts recommend keeping the nursery between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit (20-22 Celsius). Too many blankets or heavy clothing can cause overheating. On the other hand, dry or stale air can irritate your baby’s nose and throat. Use a humidifier in dry climates and ensure good ventilation. Poor air quality may increase coughing or congestion, which interrupts sleep. Regularly cleaning dust and allergens from the nursery also improves air quality. These factors quietly disrupt sleep but are easy to fix once identified. Pay attention to temperature and air to avoid these hidden sleep disruptors. Crib and Bedding: Comfort and Safety Matter The crib and bedding are central to your baby’s sleep space. Uncomfortable mattresses or bedding materials can make it hard for your baby to settle. Choose a firm, flat mattress that fits the crib exactly. Avoid soft bedding such as pillows, quilts, or stuffed animals that pose safety risks and may disrupt breathing. Fabrics that irritate sensitive skin or cause overheating can wake your baby. Use breathable, natural materials like cotton for sheets and sleep sacks. Regularly check for wear and tear on bedding and mattress covers. Comfort and safety together create a sleep-friendly environment free from hidden sleep disruptors.  Everyone needs a comfortable bed, PJs, and a room for sleeping, especially babies. Electronics and Screens: Invisible Barriers Electronics are also one of the hidden sleep disruptors in the nursery. However, they are more obvious. Devices like monitors, tablets, or phones emit blue light that suppresses melatonin, the sleep hormone. Even if your baby doesn’t look at the screens, the light exposure affects their internal clock. Keep screens out of the nursery during sleep times. Notifications or alerts from devices create sudden sounds or lights that disturb sleep. Consider putting devices on silent or turning them off at night. Using electronics only in common areas and keeping the nursery tech-free supports better sleep habits. These hidden sleep disruptors are easy to overlook but important to control. Clothing and Diapering: Simple Changes That Matter Your baby’s clothing and diapering routine can impact sleep quality more than expected. Tight or uncomfortable clothing restricts movement and causes fussiness. Choose soft, loose-fitting pajamas suitable for the season. Nighttime diaper changes can also wake a baby fully if done improperly. Use dim lights and quiet movements during changes. Keep diapering supplies within reach to avoid prolonged disturbances. Clean and dry diapers prevent discomfort that may wake your baby. Small adjustments in clothing and diaper routines help minimize hidden sleep disruptors and improve overall rest.  After beating the hidden sleep disruptors, your baby will sleep tight and peacefully. Conclusion: The Hidden Sleep Disruptors Lurking in Your Nursery
Recognizing the hidden sleep disruptors in your nursery is the first step toward better sleep for your baby. Lighting, noise, temperature, crib comfort, and electronics all play roles. Additionally, how you move with your baby and manage clothing or diapering affects rest. Addressing these factors creates a calm and safe sleep space. This supports healthy sleep habits that benefit both the baby and the parents. By focusing on your nursery environment, you can reduce disruptions and help your child sleep soundly through the night. Photos via: Pexels Pexels Pexels Pexels  how can you help make Daylight Savings transition smoother for your child's sleep? |
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My best advice for children to help them with the change is to split the difference
with the old time and the new time.
How does that work?
School Age Children-
If you have a child that does not nap and normally goes to bed at 7:00 p.m., you would put him to bed at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday night, the first night of the time change.
Do this for 3 nights, putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal, then on the 4th night put him to bed at the normal time, 7:00 p.m. or whatever is normal bedtime for your child.
Toddlers-
If you have a toddler ages one and older, on Sunday the first day of the time change, you would put him down for his first nap 30 minutes earlier than normal. So if he naps usually at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:00 a.m.
You would do the same with the afternoon nap if he takes an afternoon nap.
For bedtime, if his normal bedtime is 7:00 p.m., you would put him down at 6:30 p.m.
Do this for 3 nights after the time change and then on the 4th night, put him to bed at 7:00 p.m. and on 5th day move nap times back to normal time. So if your child naps at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:30 a.m. and so on with the rest of the day.
Infants-
If you have a baby and his bedtime and naps have become predictable (usually over 6 months old) meaning he is always going to bed around the same time each day. For example if bedtime is normally 7:00 p.m. move bedtime 15 minutes later each night until you reach the normal time again.
So the first night you would put him down at 6:15 p.m., the second night 6:30 p.m., and so on.
On the fourth night you should be back to 7:00 p.m.
Do the same thing for NAPS.
Start 45 minutes earlier than normal and move them 15 minutes later each day. So if morning nap is at 9:00 a.m. normally, start with 8:15 a.m. on Sunday,
8:30 a.m. on Monday, 8:45 a.m. on Tuesday and then 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday.
Do the same for the Afternoon Nap.
If their bedtime and nap times are not predictable (0-6 months old) simply jump to the new time Sunday night as if you were traveling to a new time zone and use their wake time window (awake time between sleep periods) as your guide.
A great thing about this time change is that there are more hours of darkness which helps make this transition a little easier.
If your child wakes up too early, walk them back to their room and tell them it’s not time to get up yet.
If your child wakes up too early and is in a crib, be sure to help his body understand it isn’t morning time by keeping him in his crib
in the dark room until normal wake time.
Note for Toddlers/School-aged children:
If you have a toddler or an older child who relies on a clock to know when their “morning time” has arrived, set the clock one half hour ahead of the new time so that it reads 7:00 a.m. at the new time of 6:30 a.m.
Allow your child to wake a bit earlier than normal (they will think it is 7:00 according to the clock but it will be 6:30 a.m., new time).
This will only be temporary as your child adjusts to wake at their usual 7:00 a.m. time after about one or two weeks.
It may take children and babies a bit more time to fall asleep, this is normal, since the time is different initially they might seem tired earlier.
It usually takes about a week for children and babies to completely adjust to the new time, some children it can take up to a month.
Be patient and stay very consistent, it will happen.
Erin Neri
with the old time and the new time.
How does that work?
School Age Children-
If you have a child that does not nap and normally goes to bed at 7:00 p.m., you would put him to bed at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday night, the first night of the time change.
Do this for 3 nights, putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal, then on the 4th night put him to bed at the normal time, 7:00 p.m. or whatever is normal bedtime for your child.
Toddlers-
If you have a toddler ages one and older, on Sunday the first day of the time change, you would put him down for his first nap 30 minutes earlier than normal. So if he naps usually at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:00 a.m.
You would do the same with the afternoon nap if he takes an afternoon nap.
For bedtime, if his normal bedtime is 7:00 p.m., you would put him down at 6:30 p.m.
Do this for 3 nights after the time change and then on the 4th night, put him to bed at 7:00 p.m. and on 5th day move nap times back to normal time. So if your child naps at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:30 a.m. and so on with the rest of the day.
Infants-
If you have a baby and his bedtime and naps have become predictable (usually over 6 months old) meaning he is always going to bed around the same time each day. For example if bedtime is normally 7:00 p.m. move bedtime 15 minutes later each night until you reach the normal time again.
So the first night you would put him down at 6:15 p.m., the second night 6:30 p.m., and so on.
On the fourth night you should be back to 7:00 p.m.
Do the same thing for NAPS.
Start 45 minutes earlier than normal and move them 15 minutes later each day. So if morning nap is at 9:00 a.m. normally, start with 8:15 a.m. on Sunday,
8:30 a.m. on Monday, 8:45 a.m. on Tuesday and then 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday.
Do the same for the Afternoon Nap.
If their bedtime and nap times are not predictable (0-6 months old) simply jump to the new time Sunday night as if you were traveling to a new time zone and use their wake time window (awake time between sleep periods) as your guide.
A great thing about this time change is that there are more hours of darkness which helps make this transition a little easier.
If your child wakes up too early, walk them back to their room and tell them it’s not time to get up yet.
If your child wakes up too early and is in a crib, be sure to help his body understand it isn’t morning time by keeping him in his crib
in the dark room until normal wake time.
Note for Toddlers/School-aged children:
If you have a toddler or an older child who relies on a clock to know when their “morning time” has arrived, set the clock one half hour ahead of the new time so that it reads 7:00 a.m. at the new time of 6:30 a.m.
Allow your child to wake a bit earlier than normal (they will think it is 7:00 according to the clock but it will be 6:30 a.m., new time).
This will only be temporary as your child adjusts to wake at their usual 7:00 a.m. time after about one or two weeks.
It may take children and babies a bit more time to fall asleep, this is normal, since the time is different initially they might seem tired earlier.
It usually takes about a week for children and babies to completely adjust to the new time, some children it can take up to a month.
Be patient and stay very consistent, it will happen.
Erin Neri
 | Need to make your child's room darker? |
About the Author
I am the mother of two amazing little boys who did not come pre-programmed with the skills to sleep well independently. I knows how hard it is to function on little to no sleep, I understands how this impacts your ability to be the best version of the mom that you want to be. This is what led me to become a Certified Sleep Consultant and the founder of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting. I am also a member of the International Association of Professional Sleep Consultants. I have a background in Psychology and have worked with families and young children in many different settings for over 28 years. One of the best parts of my job is seeing the impact that TEACHING their little sleepers healthy/independent sleep skills has on the momma's!!
"Life Changing! I am a better mom!"
I hope that title didn't scare you off because I don't mean to say that naps inherently suck. Naps are fantastic! Even as adults, a nap can be absolutely therapeutic, both mentally and physically. And babies and toddlers need naps in order to keep themselves happy and thriving.
But when you first start teaching your little one the glorious skill of falling asleep independently, you're likely to notice that they manage to get the hang of nighttime sleep pretty quickly. However, when it comes time for daytime sleep, things can get a whole lot more difficult.
Out of all the babies I've worked with, around 90% of them have had trouble with naptime. They have a harder time actually getting to sleep, or they tend to wake up after their first sleep cycle (usually around 45 minutes) and struggle to get back to sleep again afterwards.
And as any parent knows, when your baby doesn't get a good daytime nap, that sucks.
They wake up grouchy and fussy until they go down for another nap. So you end up having to soothe and settle them instead of attending to all of the other vital parenting tasks that you could have focused on if they had managed to get a full 2-3 hour daytime snooze.
So yeah, it's not like the actual naps suck, but I'm sure you'll agree that putting your baby down for a nap, tiptoeing out of the room, closing the door oh-so-gently, and then getting two steps into the other room, then hearing them start to stir and cry, that right there, that really sucks.
So let's look at some of the reasons why naptime tends to suck. First of all...
Daylight sucks -
Our bodies are naturally tuned into a 24-hour rhythm, and there's an actual physiological reason for that. Sunlight, or any "blue" or short wavelength light, like that from a phone or TV screen, stimulates cortisol production. Cortisol, being a stimulant, is a real detriment to getting settled and getting to sleep, so getting your baby away from any blue light sources at least an hour before naptime can help alleviate the problem.
That's not always feasible, obviously. If your little one is under 6 weeks old, their ideal awake time is only 45 minutes to an hour. You can't keep them indoors and away from screens all the time, but try to keep their daylight and screen exposure closer to the time after they wake up and keep it down as much as possible when they're getting ready for their next nap.
And invest in some quality blackout curtains for their bedroom. I can't tell you how great of an investment good blackout curtains are. Keeping your baby's bedroom dark is a massive help in ensuring long, high-quality naps.
Lack of melatonin sucks -
The yin to cortisol's yang; melatonin is the hormone that helps our bodies wind down and get ready for sleep. Unfortunately, melatonin production doesn't fully kick in until nighttime for most people, including babies. That means that the body's natural "sleep pressure" isn't nearly as strong during the day as it is at night, which can hinder your little one's ability to fall asleep quickly at naptime and to stay asleep for long stretches.
So we need to find other ways to build up that sleep pressure. Getting your baby outdoors shortly after they wake up is a great way to do that. True, sunlight stimulates cortisol production, but it also pumps up melatonin production in the evening, which will help baby get a good night's sleep. The better your baby sleeps at night, the easier it will be for them to sleep during the day.
And whenever possible, physical activity is a great way to promote better naps. However, your little one likes to move around; get them moving as much as possible. Try to schedule physical activities in the earlier parts of awake time rather than just before naptime. If your toddler's just finished tearing around the yard for half an hour and they try to go straight down for a nap, they're likely still going to be too fired up to get right to sleep.
FOMO sucks -
Nobody likes to stop doing something they love just so they can go to sleep, and babies are no different. If your child's in the middle of a killer game of hide and seek or riveted to the latest episode of Superhero Kindergarten, being told it's time for a nap is likely to trigger a protest. And just in case you haven't noticed, when kids protest, they tend to do it with some… enthusiasm...
Again, timing is everything here, so try to keep the exciting activities to the earlier end of awake time. Once nap time starts approaching, stick to more soothing activities like singing, stories, cuddles, or whatever they enjoy doing that's low-energy. 15-minutes of wind-down time before a nap can help immensely, but the crucial thing to avoid is sparking a tantrum by taking away something they're super engaged in.
Noise sucks -
This may come as a shock, but loud noises and sleep don't go well together. Garbage trucks, sirens, birds, dogs, and the Amazon delivery driver who can't read a "Do NOT Ring Doorbell!!!!" sign, can all disturb your baby's nap. What's worse, when they get woken up after a short nap, they've relieved some of that sleep pressure we worked so hard to build while they were awake, and that's going to make it even harder for them to get back to sleep.
It may seem counterintuitive, but one of my favourite solutions to environmental noise is… well, more environmental noise. White noise machines, which I'm assuming every parent on earth is familiar with. But they do provide cover for sudden, unexpected noises, which are the ones that tend to wake your baby up.
Just remember to keep an eye on the volume level. White noise machines can get ridiculously loud, and babies are not recommended to be exposed to noise over 60 dB for extended periods. Hearing loss sucks too.
Make no mistake, all of these recommendations can help, but they're nothing compared to the improvement you'll see in your baby's naps if they learn to fall asleep independently. More than anything else, that's the key to getting your baby sleeping through the night and taking long, restful naps during the day, so if your little one's still relying on things like feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep, or sleeping on top of you in order to take a daytime nap, that sucks more than anything. It's the single most important issue to tackle before worrying about anything else.
Unsure how to help your baby learn these elusive, independent sleep skills I speak of? I can help with that!
How? Book a free chat with me, and I can help you get to the bottom of your child's sleep difficulties and explain how I can change your family into a well-rested one.
But when you first start teaching your little one the glorious skill of falling asleep independently, you're likely to notice that they manage to get the hang of nighttime sleep pretty quickly. However, when it comes time for daytime sleep, things can get a whole lot more difficult.
Out of all the babies I've worked with, around 90% of them have had trouble with naptime. They have a harder time actually getting to sleep, or they tend to wake up after their first sleep cycle (usually around 45 minutes) and struggle to get back to sleep again afterwards.
And as any parent knows, when your baby doesn't get a good daytime nap, that sucks.
They wake up grouchy and fussy until they go down for another nap. So you end up having to soothe and settle them instead of attending to all of the other vital parenting tasks that you could have focused on if they had managed to get a full 2-3 hour daytime snooze.
So yeah, it's not like the actual naps suck, but I'm sure you'll agree that putting your baby down for a nap, tiptoeing out of the room, closing the door oh-so-gently, and then getting two steps into the other room, then hearing them start to stir and cry, that right there, that really sucks.
So let's look at some of the reasons why naptime tends to suck. First of all...
Daylight sucks -
Our bodies are naturally tuned into a 24-hour rhythm, and there's an actual physiological reason for that. Sunlight, or any "blue" or short wavelength light, like that from a phone or TV screen, stimulates cortisol production. Cortisol, being a stimulant, is a real detriment to getting settled and getting to sleep, so getting your baby away from any blue light sources at least an hour before naptime can help alleviate the problem.
That's not always feasible, obviously. If your little one is under 6 weeks old, their ideal awake time is only 45 minutes to an hour. You can't keep them indoors and away from screens all the time, but try to keep their daylight and screen exposure closer to the time after they wake up and keep it down as much as possible when they're getting ready for their next nap.
And invest in some quality blackout curtains for their bedroom. I can't tell you how great of an investment good blackout curtains are. Keeping your baby's bedroom dark is a massive help in ensuring long, high-quality naps.
Lack of melatonin sucks -
The yin to cortisol's yang; melatonin is the hormone that helps our bodies wind down and get ready for sleep. Unfortunately, melatonin production doesn't fully kick in until nighttime for most people, including babies. That means that the body's natural "sleep pressure" isn't nearly as strong during the day as it is at night, which can hinder your little one's ability to fall asleep quickly at naptime and to stay asleep for long stretches.
So we need to find other ways to build up that sleep pressure. Getting your baby outdoors shortly after they wake up is a great way to do that. True, sunlight stimulates cortisol production, but it also pumps up melatonin production in the evening, which will help baby get a good night's sleep. The better your baby sleeps at night, the easier it will be for them to sleep during the day.
And whenever possible, physical activity is a great way to promote better naps. However, your little one likes to move around; get them moving as much as possible. Try to schedule physical activities in the earlier parts of awake time rather than just before naptime. If your toddler's just finished tearing around the yard for half an hour and they try to go straight down for a nap, they're likely still going to be too fired up to get right to sleep.
FOMO sucks -
Nobody likes to stop doing something they love just so they can go to sleep, and babies are no different. If your child's in the middle of a killer game of hide and seek or riveted to the latest episode of Superhero Kindergarten, being told it's time for a nap is likely to trigger a protest. And just in case you haven't noticed, when kids protest, they tend to do it with some… enthusiasm...
Again, timing is everything here, so try to keep the exciting activities to the earlier end of awake time. Once nap time starts approaching, stick to more soothing activities like singing, stories, cuddles, or whatever they enjoy doing that's low-energy. 15-minutes of wind-down time before a nap can help immensely, but the crucial thing to avoid is sparking a tantrum by taking away something they're super engaged in.
Noise sucks -
This may come as a shock, but loud noises and sleep don't go well together. Garbage trucks, sirens, birds, dogs, and the Amazon delivery driver who can't read a "Do NOT Ring Doorbell!!!!" sign, can all disturb your baby's nap. What's worse, when they get woken up after a short nap, they've relieved some of that sleep pressure we worked so hard to build while they were awake, and that's going to make it even harder for them to get back to sleep.
It may seem counterintuitive, but one of my favourite solutions to environmental noise is… well, more environmental noise. White noise machines, which I'm assuming every parent on earth is familiar with. But they do provide cover for sudden, unexpected noises, which are the ones that tend to wake your baby up.
Just remember to keep an eye on the volume level. White noise machines can get ridiculously loud, and babies are not recommended to be exposed to noise over 60 dB for extended periods. Hearing loss sucks too.
Make no mistake, all of these recommendations can help, but they're nothing compared to the improvement you'll see in your baby's naps if they learn to fall asleep independently. More than anything else, that's the key to getting your baby sleeping through the night and taking long, restful naps during the day, so if your little one's still relying on things like feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep, or sleeping on top of you in order to take a daytime nap, that sucks more than anything. It's the single most important issue to tackle before worrying about anything else.
Unsure how to help your baby learn these elusive, independent sleep skills I speak of? I can help with that!
How? Book a free chat with me, and I can help you get to the bottom of your child's sleep difficulties and explain how I can change your family into a well-rested one.
Author
Erin Neri - Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting since 2016.
27+ years of training & experience working with children and families including her BA in Applied Psychology, Infant Mental Health Training, Early Childhood Education & Experience. Completed Integrative Feeding Specialist Certification in Oct. 2022.
The holidays are almost upon us, and I absolutely love this time of year!
Why? More than anything, it’s the opportunity to reconnect with the special people in our lives who we might not have seen in a while. Of course, everything about the holidays is special to me, but the people are what really get me excited.
Friends, family, neighbours, and acquaintances take this occasion to visit one another in person, which I’m sure we can all agree is more valuable to us this time after the pandemic caused so many missed opportunities to reconnect.
For many of you, this may be the first time your friends and family members get to meet your new baby, which is such a magical moment for everyone involved. Babies bring us together in an extraordinary way.
Now, I don’t want to sound like a grinch here, but if you’ve been working hard to teach your baby some independent sleep skills and they’re finally sleeping through the night, I just want to warn you that even though this is a wonderful time to celebrate and spend time with the people you love, it’s also an absolute minefield of potential sleep sabotage.
I’m going to single out grandparents here because they’re the most likely to be staying with you and the most likely to take liberties with your rules around your little one, but the same strategies apply to anyone who might be nudging you to ease up on bedtime and naps so they can visit with your baby.
Common examples of this “nudging” include…
All of these things are said with the best intentions, of course. Grandparents are usually more than willing to get up and tend to their grandkids. You can’t really fault people for wanting to spend time with your adorable babies, can you?
Intentions aside, though, sticking to your guns when people ask you to push back your little one’s bedtime can be tough, but I assure you, it’s necessary.
One late night is often enough to leave your baby overtired, making it tough to get them to sleep, causing less restful sleep when they eventually do go down, and often resulting in nighttime and early wakeups, all of which leaves your baby tired and irritable the next day.
And whose problem is it then? Well, yours, obviously. The first thing most people do when a baby starts to cry is hand them back over to their parents, thinking they know how to get them settled. Then the bad night’s sleep leads to a tough day of naps, leading to another rough night, and here we go again, just in time for the holidays.
I’m not trying to be an alarmist, but things can get out of hand pretty quickly, so today, I wanted to give you some tips for politely but firmly putting your foot down when your houseguests ask you to hold off on putting your baby to bed.
Be confident in your decision.
Remind yourself of what you and your baby were going through when they weren’t sleeping well, and ask yourself if you can go through it again, especially during the holidays. Remember that you’re doing the right thing for everyone involved, and that’s never selfish.
Explain the situation.
If people understand the struggle, you’ve undertaken to get your baby sleeping well. They’ll be much more likely to accept it when you insist on strict bedtime and nap schedules. So let your guests know that you’re right about teaching your baby some sleep skills and that they’ll need to go to bed at specific times, with no exceptions.
Highlight the rewards.
This is really the best method I’ve found for appeasing houseguests who don’t know the value of sleep. When they’re pushing for you to let baby, say, skip a nap, ask them, “Would you rather spend three hours with a crying baby or two hours with a happy one?”
After all, it’s tough to bond with a baby when they’re fussing and irritable, so remind Grandma and Grandpa that it’s a choice between forming those cherished memories of their grandchild laughing and cooing in their arms or significantly more forgettable ones of them fussing, screaming, and reaching for their parents because they’re tired and miserable.
Take deep breaths.
I know that sounds facile, but deep breathing really is an effective method of calming your brain and body down in moments when, let’s say, just as an example, your mother-in-law goes to “check” on your baby after they’ve been napping for 15 minutes and then emerges from their room holding a tired, bleary-eyed baby in their arms, claiming that baby was already awake when they walked in. Y’know. Just hypothetically. Not like your mother-in-law would dream of doing such a thing.
Take a few deep breaths, seriously. Before you say anything, just smile, breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, and remember that they’re just head-over-heels in love with their grandchild and didn’t do it to overrule or defy you. Give it a minute, and once you’ve cooled off a bit, calmly tell her that you’d like to see if baby can get a slightly longer nap and take her back to her crib.
Be the Boss.
Above all, remember, this is your child, and you know what’s best for them, so don’t let other people’s suggestions or experiences influence your judgment. You may hear things like, “We always let our little guy stay up late on Christmas Eve so he’d sleep late on Christmas morning,” or “You’ve got to make exceptions during the holidays.”
None of those people know your baby like you do, so all of their opinions combined don’t hold a candle to your knowledge and proficiency in this arena. You don’t need to be a tyrant, but you should never forget that you’re in charge because you’re the expert! So rock that title and do what you know is right.
The great news is, this is usually a one-time ordeal because once your family and friends see how well your little one sleeps, they quickly learn to appreciate why you take it so seriously.
After experiencing first-hand how delightful it is to be around a well-rested baby, they won’t be asking questions when they come back next year. Instead, they’ll just enjoy the experience and quietly marvel at how awesome you are at raising kids.
So happy holidays, everybody! Have fun, enjoy the season, and sleep well!
Why? More than anything, it’s the opportunity to reconnect with the special people in our lives who we might not have seen in a while. Of course, everything about the holidays is special to me, but the people are what really get me excited.
Friends, family, neighbours, and acquaintances take this occasion to visit one another in person, which I’m sure we can all agree is more valuable to us this time after the pandemic caused so many missed opportunities to reconnect.
For many of you, this may be the first time your friends and family members get to meet your new baby, which is such a magical moment for everyone involved. Babies bring us together in an extraordinary way.
Now, I don’t want to sound like a grinch here, but if you’ve been working hard to teach your baby some independent sleep skills and they’re finally sleeping through the night, I just want to warn you that even though this is a wonderful time to celebrate and spend time with the people you love, it’s also an absolute minefield of potential sleep sabotage.
I’m going to single out grandparents here because they’re the most likely to be staying with you and the most likely to take liberties with your rules around your little one, but the same strategies apply to anyone who might be nudging you to ease up on bedtime and naps so they can visit with your baby.
Common examples of this “nudging” include…
- Can’t she stay up a little longer? It’s the holidays!
- We just got here! You can’t put her to bed yet!
- We haven’t seen the kids all year! They can sleep in tomorrow morning!
- We’ll take care of her when she wakes up! You guys sleep in!
All of these things are said with the best intentions, of course. Grandparents are usually more than willing to get up and tend to their grandkids. You can’t really fault people for wanting to spend time with your adorable babies, can you?
Intentions aside, though, sticking to your guns when people ask you to push back your little one’s bedtime can be tough, but I assure you, it’s necessary.
One late night is often enough to leave your baby overtired, making it tough to get them to sleep, causing less restful sleep when they eventually do go down, and often resulting in nighttime and early wakeups, all of which leaves your baby tired and irritable the next day.
And whose problem is it then? Well, yours, obviously. The first thing most people do when a baby starts to cry is hand them back over to their parents, thinking they know how to get them settled. Then the bad night’s sleep leads to a tough day of naps, leading to another rough night, and here we go again, just in time for the holidays.
I’m not trying to be an alarmist, but things can get out of hand pretty quickly, so today, I wanted to give you some tips for politely but firmly putting your foot down when your houseguests ask you to hold off on putting your baby to bed.
Be confident in your decision.
Remind yourself of what you and your baby were going through when they weren’t sleeping well, and ask yourself if you can go through it again, especially during the holidays. Remember that you’re doing the right thing for everyone involved, and that’s never selfish.
Explain the situation.
If people understand the struggle, you’ve undertaken to get your baby sleeping well. They’ll be much more likely to accept it when you insist on strict bedtime and nap schedules. So let your guests know that you’re right about teaching your baby some sleep skills and that they’ll need to go to bed at specific times, with no exceptions.
Highlight the rewards.
This is really the best method I’ve found for appeasing houseguests who don’t know the value of sleep. When they’re pushing for you to let baby, say, skip a nap, ask them, “Would you rather spend three hours with a crying baby or two hours with a happy one?”
After all, it’s tough to bond with a baby when they’re fussing and irritable, so remind Grandma and Grandpa that it’s a choice between forming those cherished memories of their grandchild laughing and cooing in their arms or significantly more forgettable ones of them fussing, screaming, and reaching for their parents because they’re tired and miserable.
Take deep breaths.
I know that sounds facile, but deep breathing really is an effective method of calming your brain and body down in moments when, let’s say, just as an example, your mother-in-law goes to “check” on your baby after they’ve been napping for 15 minutes and then emerges from their room holding a tired, bleary-eyed baby in their arms, claiming that baby was already awake when they walked in. Y’know. Just hypothetically. Not like your mother-in-law would dream of doing such a thing.
Take a few deep breaths, seriously. Before you say anything, just smile, breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, and remember that they’re just head-over-heels in love with their grandchild and didn’t do it to overrule or defy you. Give it a minute, and once you’ve cooled off a bit, calmly tell her that you’d like to see if baby can get a slightly longer nap and take her back to her crib.
Be the Boss.
Above all, remember, this is your child, and you know what’s best for them, so don’t let other people’s suggestions or experiences influence your judgment. You may hear things like, “We always let our little guy stay up late on Christmas Eve so he’d sleep late on Christmas morning,” or “You’ve got to make exceptions during the holidays.”
None of those people know your baby like you do, so all of their opinions combined don’t hold a candle to your knowledge and proficiency in this arena. You don’t need to be a tyrant, but you should never forget that you’re in charge because you’re the expert! So rock that title and do what you know is right.
The great news is, this is usually a one-time ordeal because once your family and friends see how well your little one sleeps, they quickly learn to appreciate why you take it so seriously.
After experiencing first-hand how delightful it is to be around a well-rested baby, they won’t be asking questions when they come back next year. Instead, they’ll just enjoy the experience and quietly marvel at how awesome you are at raising kids.
So happy holidays, everybody! Have fun, enjoy the season, and sleep well!
Author
Erin Neri - Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting since 2016.
27+ years of training & experience working with children and families including her BA in Applied Psychology, Infant Mental Health Training, Early Childhood Education & Experience. Completed Integrative Feeding Specialist Certification in Oct. 2022.
Wondering what AVERAGE AWAKE TIMES and what
a NAP TIME SCHEDULE should look like as your child grows?? Remember that these are AVERAGES; all children are different, so don’t freak out if your child doesn’t fit into the box right now. However, MOST will fall into these time frames with a little help from mom and dad. But it's usually a work in progress, especially if your little one is having trouble with independent sleep skills. It’s about watching the TIME awake and not the actual time on the CLOCK. It’s about finding that sweet spot for your child. That spot between not ready to sleep and becoming overtired.
Remember many, many, many little moonbugs simply are NOT BORN with good sleep skills, it's something we need to help TEACH them. ♥ Your baby will have a better chance of falling to sleep with minimal fuss if you put her in her crib AWAKE and HAPPY but NOT overtired!
Here's a quick reference guide......
a NAP TIME SCHEDULE should look like as your child grows?? Remember that these are AVERAGES; all children are different, so don’t freak out if your child doesn’t fit into the box right now. However, MOST will fall into these time frames with a little help from mom and dad. But it's usually a work in progress, especially if your little one is having trouble with independent sleep skills. It’s about watching the TIME awake and not the actual time on the CLOCK. It’s about finding that sweet spot for your child. That spot between not ready to sleep and becoming overtired.
Remember many, many, many little moonbugs simply are NOT BORN with good sleep skills, it's something we need to help TEACH them. ♥ Your baby will have a better chance of falling to sleep with minimal fuss if you put her in her crib AWAKE and HAPPY but NOT overtired!
Here's a quick reference guide......
Sleep Needs Reference Guide
Have you been having a hard time getting your child to fit into the box so to speak? Believe me you are not alone!! I remember looking up these charts and thinking:
"Ok awesome well my baby won't sleep unless he's attached to me and he won't sleep longer then 20 mins, not matter what time I put him down!!
So how on earth am I supposed to get him to nap on these schedules if he won't sleep!!"
If this is sounding familiar I would love the opportunity to help, we can work together to get your baby/child the sleep she needs on the proper- age appropriate schedule.
"Ok awesome well my baby won't sleep unless he's attached to me and he won't sleep longer then 20 mins, not matter what time I put him down!!
So how on earth am I supposed to get him to nap on these schedules if he won't sleep!!"
If this is sounding familiar I would love the opportunity to help, we can work together to get your baby/child the sleep she needs on the proper- age appropriate schedule.
About the Author
I am the mother of two amazing little boys who did not come pre-programmed with the skills to sleep well independently. I knows how hard it is to function on little to no sleep, I understands how this impacts your ability to be the best version of the mom that you want to be. This is what led me to become a Certified Sleep Consultant and the founder of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting. I am also a member of the International Association of Professional Sleep Consultants. I have a background in Psychology and have worked with families and young children in many different settings for over 20 years. One of the best parts of my job is seeing the impact that TEACHING their little moon bugs healthy/independent sleep skills has on the momma's!!
"Life Changing! I am a better mom!"
To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting
Providing families the tools & support they need to get their little ones sleeping through the night and napping like champs! Everyone has more fun when they are well rested!
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