Solving thumb-sucking in a few easy steps!

Solving thumb-sucking in a few easy steps!

It’s happened.  Your child has discovered that sucking her thumb is even better than her favourite stuffed cat and Winnie the Pooh blanket when it comes to comfort. She sucks her thumb while falling asleep while watching TV, when she’s scared, when she’s upset.  And maybe it hasn’t been an issue until now, as she was only using it for a few minutes to soothe herself, but now you think it’s time to try to cut this habit out.


While it’s perfectly reasonable to want your child to stop, it might be helpful to know that some of the perceived dangers of thumb-sucking might not be based on fact. Here are some common misconceptions:


The myths about thumb-sucking

1. My kid will still be sucking his thumb when he’s 12!
Not likely. Statistics show that less than 9% of children who suck their thumbs continue over the age of 5, with the vast majority breaking the habit between the ages of 2 and 4. And of those kids still sucking their thumbs at 5, most will stop as they start to identify with their peer groups and don’t want to be the only one in kindergarten with their thumb in their mouth at storytime.


2. It will ruin her teeth.
This can be true, but only after the kids get their permanent teeth, which will start to happen between 6 and 8. In older kids, prolonged thumb sucking can begin to change the shape of the oral cavity. But luckily, the vast majority of kids will have stopped on their own by then, anyway.


My own little guy was an avid finger sucker when he was a baby. I mean, he had those two fingers in his mouth ALL the time, day and night. He was extremely late to the game as far as getting his first teeth goes. So when he got his first 2 top teeth around one year old, it created an owie on his fingers, and he stopped sucking his fingers cold turkey.



3. He’s using it as a crutch.
While it’s true that young children who discover their thumbs do use it for comfort, this doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be able to learn coping mechanisms for dealing with stress or self-soothing later in life.


4. A pacifier is a better choice.
Many parents tell me they would rather their child use a soother because at least they can take it away. But in my experience, lots of parents say this and then don’t take it away! If the soother is their child’s sleep prop, and they use it for comfort, then it becomes just as challenging to take away from the child.


Many parents let soother-use linger on way longer than planned. A Colleague had a client who confessed that she still let her 5-year-old sleep with his soother because of this very reason.


My second little one had a soother stuck in his face literally from the day he was born. I was unaware that newborns were even capable of keeping a soother in their mouths for longer than 30 seconds; I know my first son could not keep it in. But his little brother was a champion soother sucker, and you’d think this would mean that he was a champion sleeper! But ya, NO!! He is the reason that I became a sleep consultant!


I needed to help him learn his sleep strategies, and he was waking every hour and a half all day and all night to be near me. So, because I didn’t actually know any better, I did my sleep training while letting him keep his soother. He only ever used it in his crib. But like I said, it absolutely never fell out; he never woke up for the soother to be replaced, so it ended up not being an issue once he was sleeping his consolidated 13-14.5 hours at night.


Then he turned three years old, and the dentist said: “It’s time to get rid of the soother; his palette is getting higher, and his teeth are crowding.” So it was time for the ‘Soother Fairy’ to come and scoop up his two soothers to bring them to a new baby who needs them more”. It was a couple of tough nights with a new stuffy from the ‘Soother Fairy,’ and he went back to sleeping like a champ!


So, with these common fears out of the way, there really is no right or wrong, only a personal preference of the parents. Just like some mothers use bottles and others breastfeed, or some parents use time-outs and others don’t, there are many different ways of doing things. If you’ve decided that thumb-sucking needs to go, here are some ways to help your child give it up for good. These tips are designed for kids three years and up.
 
The key to solving thumb sucking is getting to the heart of why your child sucks her thumb. Every child is different; some might only use their thumb when trying to sleep, others only when upset, and others at every opportunity! In each case, it has become a habit; as we all know, habits are hard to break.  One really useful tool is the reward system. Offering a benefit to NOT sucking their thumbs is sometimes all the encouragement kids need.


But first, it’s essential to determine why and when your child turns to her thumb.
 
Step 1. For the first week, keep a pen and paper handy and write down every single time you see your child’s thumb in her mouth. At the end of the week, go through your list and see if there are any consistencies. Does she always suck her thumb around 4 p.m. while watching her favourite show? Does he suck his thumb around the other toddlers at the playgroup because he’s nervous or shy?
 
Step 2.  Identify what the payoff is for your child. For example, if you
notice that she sticks her thumb in every time she hurts herself, then a
conclusion would be that her thumb helps her deal with pain. If you notice that the thumb goes in whenever she’s watching TV, then the thumb is being used when she’s idle.
 
Step 3. Remind and distract: Now that you know what she’s using it for, you can offer her something in exchange for the thumb. For example, if she’s about to watch her favourite show. Offer her a bowl of grapes to eat while the show is on. If he sucks his thumb when he gets hurt and he just tripped on the stairs, you can rush over and offer him a long hug followed by a quick distraction like a game or a favourite toy.
 
Step 4. A reward chart for a day completed with no sucking can be helpful. You can offer your child a treat or small toy at the end of the day if she’s successful. I also find that the more immediate the reward, the better the outcome. If your child is old enough, suggest that she tell you whenever she feels like sucking her thumb and doesn’t so that you can offer up a reward. It doesn’t have to be a big treat, just one M&M or gummy bear for each time she resists the urge.


Nighttime thumb-suckers: Bedtime tends to be a very popular time for thumb-sucking, so you will need to find another alternative that can be just as comforting. Tying a ribbon around the thumb or a light pair of gloves can work as a reminder, so when your child brings his thumb to his mouth, he gets an instant reminder about what the goals are. You can also buy your child a new sleep toy that has a texture that he can rub his thumb against instead of sucking it. 

Remember that bad habits are hard to break, so take time and encouragement. I don’t find punishment or nagging works well when discouraging a habit. Children are notorious for power struggles; you don’t want to turn it into a battle of wills.


If the child is old enough, you can sit him down and tell him about a habit you tried hard to break (drinking coffee or nail-biting, for instance) and make it clear why you’d like him to stop this behaviour. If you can think of a way to make it about him rather than you, you’ll have better success. So, for example, if you’re worried about his teeth, you could say how great it would be if he had the best smile at soccer pictures next week. This will help internalize the process.


Once your child sees that there are other things she can do to self-soothe and has been reminded enough times to take her thumb out of her mouth, she’ll stop sucking her thumb before you know it!