With the holidays quickly approaching, parents who have recently gotten their babies, of any age, sleeping on a schedule are often worried that their little ones'  sleep will regress over the Holidays.

I can assure you that those fears could not be more real.

Many families struggle with severe sleep deprivation for a very long time due to the "blessing" of having a child (or two like I was) that lacks healthy independent sleep strategies.

So, finally getting your whole family into a routine that works. Finally moving from being severely sleep deprived into a family that is becoming well rested.  Trust me everyone inside that little family unit wants to protect their new found sleep including the little one who is finally able to sleep.
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When little ones finally FEEL what it feels like to have the sleep that is needed for healthy growth and development they don't want their schedule messed with either. 

Between the travel, excitement, and constant attention of family and friends, holidays are the easiest way to throw all of your hard work out with the wrapping paper.

But fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way! With some strategic planning and an iron will, you can keep that carefully orchestrated routine running right on schedule.

There are two major impediments to maintaining your kiddos routine over the holidays. One is travel, and the other is family and friends, so I want to tackle both of those topics individually.

First, we will cover the travel portion...

If you have a trip planned sometime in the next few weeks, and were planning on beginning sleep training , I suggest putting it off until you get back (On the flip side, if you are looking for an excuse to cancel your trip, keeping your baby's sleep schedule is a pretty good one. Just sayin’! 🤷🏼‍♀️)

If you've already started working on a routine, no worries! If you can maintain some semblance of normalcy on your trip, you should be able to fall right back into it once back home.

If you plan on driving to your destination, a great tip is to schedule your driving time over baby's naps. Car naps aren't always ideal but are definitely better than no naps at all, and they're the lesser of two evils by a mile. If at all possible, hit the road right around the time that baby would usually be taking their first nap of the day.
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If you're really committed to your kiddo's sleep schedule, you might even look for some parks, tourist attractions, or other outdoor activities on your route for quick stops when baby wakes from their nap. These stops are an excellent opportunity for the whole family to get out into the sunshine and fresh air, making that next nap that much easier.

If you plan to fly, well, my heart goes out to you.

It's no secret that planes and babies aren't always the best match, so I suggest (and this is the only time you'll hear me say this) to do whatever you can to get you through the flight with minimum fuss. Let them play with your phone, dole out snack, whatever you need to do to keep baby happy.

Don't try to force naps; if they don't want to sleep on the plane, they won't. It will only result in unnecessary frustration for both of you. (And, most likely, the passengers around you.)

Alright! So you've arrived, and hopefully, you've managed to maintain some degree of sanity. Now, I'm sorry to say, comes the hard part.

When you're in the car or on the plane, everyone is rooting for you, keeping baby quiet and relaxed; and hopefully asleep.

But now that you're at the Grandparents and it's just the opposite.

Everyone wants to play with and hold the baby and get them ridiculously overstimulated. It's exceptionally difficult to tell all of these friends and family members that you're putting an end to the fun because the baby needs to get to sleep.

So, here and now,  I am giving you permission to be the bad guy. Don't negotiate, or make exceptions, and do not feel bad about it. Firmly explain to anyone giving you the "I'll just sneak in a take a quick peek,"  that baby's in the middle of sleep training, and you're not taking any chances waking them up.

Let them know that they can hang around until baby gets up, or can catch them another time. Or better yet, let people know in advance when to expect some baby time based on baby's routine.

I know it sounds harsh, but the alternative is an almost immediate backslide right back into day one.

Your little one misses a nap, gets all fired up because of all the new faces and activity, then gets overtired, cortisol production goes up, and voila the next nap is ruined, which results in more overtiredness derailing nighttime sleep.

Before you know it, you're headed on your way home, and it feels like all baby did was cry for the entire trip. I’m not even slightly exaggerating. It happens that quickly.

So you've steeled your nerves and let everyone know that you're not budging on baby's schedule. She took her naps at the right times, and now it's time for bed. The only catch is that, with all of the company staying at the house, there's only one room for you and baby.

No problem, right? Bed-sharing for a few nights isn't the end of the world.

I wish it were that easy, but it simply is not! 

I don't know of any parent that wants to UNDO all of the amazing sleep skills that their child has just developed and is beginning to master. No one wants to go back to waking up every few hours for the little one to cry more unnecessary tears, for someone to come and soothe them back to sleep.

So, you want to make both their sleeping arrangements and their scheduling as little of a deviation from the regular routines as possible. Plus babies and toddler can develop a real affinity for co-sleeping, or any other external sleep prop that comes back into the scenario, in as little as one night! 

You have worked hard to help your kiddo develop his own sleep strategies and now he's finally getting the sleep you both need and you don't want to mess with it!
 
So this may sound a little unorthodox, but if you're sharing a room, what I suggest is simple...

Make one room into two.

I'm not saying you need to call in a construction crew, but I do suggest hanging a blanket, setting up a dressing screen, or, yes, I'm going to go ahead and say it, put baby in the closet.

I know that sounds crazy, but a decent-sized closet is an excellent place for baby to sleep in a pinch. It's dark; it's quiet, she won't be distracted by being able to see you, and won't be disturbed by people walking in and out of the room.

SlumberPod is another excellent option for creating your baby's own blacked out sleeping space while sharing a room. It's a patented blackout tent that fits perfectly over your pack n' play or travel crib. It has pockets for a fan, monitor and white noise machine. Use the Discount Code: tothemoonsleep to get your special deal.  

While we're on the subject of "no exceptions," that rule extends to all other sleep props. You may be tempted to slip baby a pacifier or rock her to sleep if she's disturbing the rest of the house, but baby is going to latch on to that really, really quickly, and chances are you'll be waking up every hour or two, rocking baby back to sleep or putting her pacifier back in, which in the end will disturb the house much more than a bit of crying at 7:00 at night.

I find the biggest reason that parents give in is, quite simply, because they're embarrassed. There's a house full of eyes, and they're all focused on the new baby, and by association, the new parent.

The feeling that everyone is making judgments about how you're parenting is very real, and overwhelming in these family gatherings, but in those moments, remember what's really important here;

Your baby, your family, and their health and well-being.

There may well be a few people who feel a bit jaded because you put the baby to bed just when they got in the door, and your mother might tell you that putting your baby in the closet for the night is ridiculous, but remember you're doing this for a very noble cause. Perhaps the noblest cause there is, allowing your child to get the sleep that is required 

So stand tall and remember that you’re a superhero, defending sleep for those who are too small to defend it for themselves. If you want to wear a cape and give yourself a cool superhero name, you go right ahead. WonderMom, UberMama, The Somnum Inducere, if you’re feeling really fancy. Just remember that, like any superhero, you may be misunderstood by the masses.

Ignore them. You’re on a mission to the best quality sleep possible for your child and your family as a whole. Getting the sleep that is required in-order to function as  the best versions of yourselves is absolutely worth the journey.

Quite simply, "it's life changing". 

Happy Holidays & Happy Sleeping
Erin

For more sleep training tips while on holidays get our Expert Travel & Sleep Guide.

I have always been fascinated with home remedies. 

Try rubbing aspiring on a bee sting!

Quiet a colicky baby by running the vacuum cleaner!

Swallow a teaspoon of sugar to cure your hiccups!

I’m sure this fascination came from having an amazing grandmother who always recommended such things and being somewhat of a sickly kid myself. LOL!

However, I know I am not alone in the quest for "natural remedies" after all there are a ton of books on the subject still available on Amazon today.

One of the big selling points of cures like these is that they’re “natural.” Many people feel like their doctors are too quick to prescribe medications and feel like it's because of big Pharma kickbacks. People don't always want to a lab- designed chemical to solve the problem. They like the idea of using something readily available in nature. You know. Like penicillin.

I should stipulate here that I’m not anti-pharmaceutical, nor am I anti-homeopathy. I feel that health decisions are something that should be carefully considered by the individual with the advice of their doctor. If probiotics improve your gut health, I say go for it. If you need serious medication to for a heart condition, then you should probably take that as well.

However, anything you’re going to put in your body, and every bit as necessary, your child's body, should be evaluated for its efficacy and possible side effects, which is why I want to talk about melatonin again.

A lot of homeopathic experts has touted melatonin as a safe, natural way of helping people get to sleep, and in many ways, that very is true, but there's a whole lot more to understand about it before you take it yourself or give it to your child.

So, what is it, exactly?

Well, melatonin is a hormone that secreted from the pineal gland that helps to settle your body and mind down when it's time to sleep. How exactly it does that is a very complicated process and involves more biology that I can hope to understand, much less explain. 

So, in the simplest terms, melatonin is your brain’s way of turning the lights off for the night. Cortisol is its counterpart, which opens them back up, and the two together make up a large part of what we call our “body clock,” but more on that later.

An important point here is that MELATONIN IS NOT A TRADITIONAL SLEEP AID. As Dr. Luis Buenaver, a sleep expert from Johns Hopkins explains it, "Your body produces melatonin naturally. It doesn't make you sleep, but as melatonin levels rise in the evening, it puts you into a state of quiet wakefulness that helps promote sleep."

How does our body know when to start producing melatonin? Quite naturally, actually. When it starts to get dark, the body recognizes the onset of night and gets the melatonin pumps up and running. That worked like a charm for a couple of hundred thousand years, until we invented the light bulb.

Plus the television. And the smartphone. And the laptop. And tablets.

Nowadays our eyes are flooded with so much artificial light that it can be difficult for our brains to determine when the night is coming on, and it can interfere with melatonin production. That can mess up our body clocks and contribute to insomnia.

Now, in some cases, jet-lag and shift work are the most significant two, when our body clocks temporarily are thrown out of whack a melatonin supplement can help reset our body clocks, but it's not a solution for sleep issues.

My first piece of advice to people who are having trouble sleeping is to turn off their screens a couple of hours before bed, turn down the house lights, and come up with a bedtime routine. Let your body know that it’s time to sleep, and it’ll do almost all of the leg work for you.

Side note: This is not the case for insomniacs. People with psychological or physical conditions that inhibit their sleep should consult with their physicians.

Now, when it comes to kids, all of this information still applies. Newborns are something of an exception, as they don’t start producing melatonin and cortisol until they’re about two months old. Until then, they're flying by the seat of their pants, sleep-wise, as I'm sure you probably already know if you have any of your own.

However, past the 2-month mark, they start to establish a 24- hour light-dark sleep cycle, which is the standard sleep cycle that we follow throughout our lives.
So now we get to the big question ...

“Will giving my child melatonin help them sleep through the night?”

And the answer is, “NO IT WILL NOT.”

It might help them GET to sleep at night, but it will not help them STAY asleep.

The above isn't just my opinion, by the way. It is the general consensus of Sleep Specialists, researchers, and doctors worldwide.

The National Sleep Foundation has found that "...when scientists conduct tests to compare melatonin as a "sleeping pill" to a placebo (sugar pill) most studies show no benefit of melatonin."

I do think being fully informed is essential, of course. Melatonin is a hormone and can have serious side effects.

There have also been studies that showed early sexual development in animal subjects given melatonin, but the link in human children hasn't yet been established.

Again, I am not in any way against homeopathic or naturopathic medicine; I search out such resources for myself.

Even in cases where the effects are psychological, and for some people, melatonin does indeed get them to sleep quicker and help them sleep through the night. If it's just a placebo effect for some of them, no biggie, they're getting the sleep they need, and that's vitally important in its own right.

However, when it comes to young kids, I feel that it's essential for us as parents to teach them the skills they need to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own.

Moreover, here's the good news. Kids and sleep go together like cheese and crackers.

They need A LOT of sleep, and for a short period in their lives, everything in their bodies is tuned to help ensure they get it.

All they need from us is a little guidance and a determination to step out of the way sometimes so they can develop the ability to get to sleep and stay asleep on their own.

You can check out some of my other blog posts for tips on how to give your child the opportunities to develop their sleep strategies since this is already getting a little wordy, but giving them any sleep aid is definitely not the answer, whether it’s melatonin or Benadryl.

Just like learning any other skill, it takes practice and time.

No supplement can teach you how to play an instrument, teach you long division, or sharpen your golf game.

Sleep is, in essence, precisely the same thing. It’s a skill that needs to be developed, and once it is, it comes easily and naturally, so before you reach for the pills, try

• establishing a predictable consistent bedtime routine
• shutting down the TVs and tablets a couple of hours before bed

Try encouraging your child to fall asleep without

• feeding,
• rocking,
• or other forms of outside help.

I promise you; the results will be better than anything you’ll get from a pill, and they’ll last them a lifetime.

Side Note: Check out my previous BLOG POST for more resources and information about the safety of Melatonin in Babies.

Another Side Note: Are you wondering if taking melatonin supplements are safe to take while you are pregnant and suffering from those sleepless nights? Looking for more evidence on the dangers of Melatonin?

Check out this article Are Melatonin Supplements Safe During Pregnancy? from Mom Loves Best.

If you are struggling with your little one’s sleep, please reach out to me or another sleep consultant to get some advice and help. Don’t take the route of giving melatonin unless you have tried with a professional’s help to teach your child how to develop their independent sleep strategies.