This is it, mama. This is the final boss. The last level. The icing on the parenting cake.

​​Well, I suppose you still have about 15 or 16 years of parenting left before you send them off to college, but those are a day at the park compared to this.

I’m talking, of course, about nighttime potty training.
This is another one of those parenting milestones that can seem peculiar to outsiders. Still, for those of us who have been through it, we know that a celebration of epic proportions is in order on the day we finally say our final farewell to diapers. It’s not as sexy as completing your Master’s degree or landing a big promotion, but handing down that Diaper Genie to
one of your friends after getting your toddler 100% potty trained feels pretty similar on the old accomplishment-o-meter.

Today, I’ve some tips for you to determine whether your toddler is ready for nighttime potty training and, if so, how to maximize your chances of success without sacrificing the progress you’ve made with their sleep.

So, jumping right in, is your little one ready to go the night without using the potty?

Notice how I phrased that specifically? I’ve seen nighttime potty training approaches that involve actually going into your child’s bedroom at regular intervals during the night and waking them up to go to the bathroom!
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All the nopes to this approach. Every last nope in the nope collection. We do not sacrifice sleep for potty training. It’s way too confusing for a toddler to be told, after all of the work they’ve done to finally start sleeping peacefully through the night, that they now have to wake up every three or four hours to go to the bathroom.

If your toddler can’t get through the night without needing to pee, they’re not ready for this.
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Leave their diaper on at night and tackle this at a later date.

​If, however, your little one’s had a few nights of waking up with a dry diaper, that could mean that they’re up to the challenge. That’s really the prime indicator that this might be a good time to give it a shot. Two or three dry mornings in a week suggests that their bladder muscles have developed to the point where they can hold it for the night, so if that’s the case, let’s give it a shot.

Now, prepare yourself. I’m sure there are stories out there about The Toddler Who Potty Trained Without a Single Accident, but the odds of that happening are not in your favour. Not even close.

So pick a week when you don’t have a whole lot going on, get some extra sheets and PJs at the ready, and get your zen on because the most important thing here is patience. There will be some accidents, and accepting this reality ahead of time will help make the process bearable for you and your little one.
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​Keep this mindset when you’re explaining what’s going on to your toddler. It’s great to be enthusiastic and super-positive, but don’t make it sound too monumental. We’ve got to keep in mind that this isn’t something they have control over, and building up expectations on them can result in some feelings of failure and disappointment if they do have an accident in the night. This is also something to consider if you’re looking at a “reward chart” or some such thing for nights without an accident. I’m
not inherently against them, but if your toddler tends to get really upset if they don’t make the grade, it might be better to let them succeed or fail without rewards and consequences. 
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Make sure your toddler gets on the potty right before bed, even if they say they don’t need to go.

I know many parents have found that a potty session 30 minutes before bedtime, followed by another one right before bed, has yielded the best results.
When an accident happens, as it probably will at least a few times, don’t act disappointed or irritated. (Go ahead and feel that way, sure, but you keep that noise to yourself.) Just take your toddler by the hand and walk them back to their room, get them cleaned up and into some fresh pyjamas, and change their bed with the clean sheets you’ve prepared ahead of time.

I do have one really sweet pro tip for you here. Grab some plastic sheeting, lay a layer over the mattress, then add a set of bed sheets, followed by another layer of plastic, and finally another set of bed sheets. That way, if there’s an accident in the night, you just go in, strip off the top layer, and bam! There’s a clean, dry, freshly made bed waiting underneath.

That’ll help get you and your little one back to bed in no time flat.
Keep the room as dark as possible, keep the process brief, and avoid putting your little one in the bath unless absolutely necessary. Getting into the tub is likely to throw a wrench in your child’s sleep for the night. They might get it into their heads that wetting the bed gets them fifteen minutes in the bath, which, for some kids, might sound like a pretty sweet proposition.

So what happens if it doesn’t take? If you’re still experiencing regular accidents after a week or two, consider the situation. Is your toddler ready and just not willing, or willing but not ready? And when you’re deciding, consider whether your own desire to see an end to diapers is influencing your decision. Any sane parent would love to say goodbye to diapers as soon as possible, but there really is no rushing this process. If they’re not ready, they’re not ready, and you’re just putting a lot of unnecessary stress on both of you by trying to get it done before it’s time.

To reiterate, one last time, getting your toddler out of their diaper is not worth sacrificing their sleep routine. Don’t attempt this crazy “dream-potty” routine where you try to get them to pee while they’re still sleeping, don’t wake them up halfway through the night to go to the bathroom, and don’t drop two hundred bucks on a bed-wetting alarm. (How is that even a thing?)

You’ll just be trading one issue for another, and since you’ve already put the work in to get them sleeping through the night, you’re much better off just waiting until the moment is right.

-Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist

​We’re all willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that our babies are properly nourished, obviously, but as anyone who’s been through this glorious journey of motherhood will tell you, kids are shrewd. They’re unimaginably clever. They will find ways to get what they want, and they will repeat them relentlessly.

Which is not their fault, obviously. They’re just working off of instinct. They know what they like, and at a young age, they like mom— a lot.
I’m talking all mom, all the time. You are to your baby what Pinterest is to middle-aged homeowners. Too much is never enough.

And given the fact that they really only have one method of communicating, if Mom’s not around and they don’t think that’s cool, they fire up their lungs, and they let out a cry.

However, obviously, they don’t only cry because they want Mom. They cry because they’re uncomfortable, or because they’ve got a dirty diaper, or because they’re too hot or too cold, and they cry because they’re hungry.

So when they wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, it’s tough to determine whether they need to eat or just want to see Mom back in the room.
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​I’m not trying to tell you that you shouldn’t respond to your baby’s crying. You know your baby better than anyone, and I imagine you can tell when something needs to be addressed based on the decibel level, intensity, pitch, and duration. But having said that, if your baby is waking up seven or eight times a night and insisting that you come in and rock her back to sleep, which can have a profound impact on everybody’s sleep, including hers.

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Many babies have developed a dependency on nursing, rocking, sucking, and so on in order to get to sleep, and it’s not something they can overcome in 15 or 20 minutes. Solving that issue requires some real work and a firm commitment from you, but we can discuss sleep training in a minute.

First things first, here are a few things to consider when you’re trying to determine this oh-so-prevalent parental riddle.

• IS BABY UNDER SIX MONTHS OLD?
Up until about the six-month mark, babies typically require at least one nighttime feeding. Their tummies are small, they haven’t started solid food yet, and formula and breast milk digest fairly quickly, so there’s a good chance they’re going to get a case of the munchies during the night.
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This isn’t the case for all babies, obviously. Some infants sleep through the night without a feed from a very early age and then pig out during the day, but generally speaking, you can expect to be summoned for a
nighttime feeding up until babies hit about six months.
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​• DOES BABY FALL ASLEEP INDEPENDENTLY?
Here lies the linchpin. The cornerstone of the whole equation is right here. Can your baby fall asleep on their own?
If you can put your baby down in her crib while she’s still awake, leave the room, and have baby fall asleep without any help from you, without a pacifier, or any other kind of outside assistance. In that case, those nighttime cries are far more likely to mean that she genuinely needs a hand with something when she wakes up crying at night.

Determining whether your baby’s hungry at night is obviously a complicated situation. Calories are vital, but so is sleep, so we typically end up paralyzed trying to balance the importance of the two. This tightrope is immeasurably easier to walk once you’ve taught your baby the skills they need to fall asleep on their own.

Once the habit of feeding to sleep is broken, you can feel much more confident that their requests for a nighttime feed are out of necessity, not just a way to grab a few extra minutes with mom.

And, as always, if you’re looking for some help teaching your little one those essential sleep skills, I’ve got you covered.

- Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist
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My best advice for children to help them with the change is to split the difference
with the old time and the new time. 

How does that work?
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School Age Children-
If you have a child that does not nap and normally goes to bed at 7:00 p.m., you would put him to bed at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday night, the first night of the time change. 

​Do this for 3 nights, putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal, then on the 4th night put him to bed at the normal time, 7:00 p.m. or whatever is normal bedtime for your child.


Toddlers-
If you have a toddler ages one and older, on Sunday the first day of the time change, you would put him down for his first nap 30 minutes earlier than normal.   So if he naps usually at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:00 a.m. 

You would do the same with the afternoon nap if he takes an afternoon nap. 
For bedtime, if his normal bedtime is 7:00 p.m., you would put him down at 6:30 p.m.  

Do this for 3 nights after the time change and then on the 4th night, put him to bed at 7:00 p.m. and on 5th day move nap times back to normal time.   So if your child naps at 9:30 a.m. put him down at 9:30 a.m. and so on with the rest of the day. 
 
Infants-
If you have a baby and his bedtime and naps have become predictable (usually over 6 months old) meaning he is always going to bed around the same time each day.  For example if bedtime is normally 7:00 p.m. move bedtime 15 minutes later each night until you reach the normal time again. 

So the first night you would put him down at 6:15 p.m., the second night 6:30 p.m., and so on. 
On the fourth night you should be back to 7:00 p.m. 

Do the same thing for NAPS. 

Start 45 minutes earlier than normal and move them 15 minutes later each day.  So if morning nap is at 9:00 a.m. normally, start with 8:15 a.m. on Sunday,
8:30 a.m. on Monday, 8:45 a.m. on Tuesday and then 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday. 

Do the same for the Afternoon Nap. 

​If their bedtime and nap times are not predictable (0-6 months old) simply jump to the new time Sunday night as if you were traveling to a new time zone and use their wake time window (awake time between sleep periods) as your guide. 

A great thing about this time change is that there are more hours of darkness which helps make this transition a little easier. 
If your child wakes up too early, walk them back to their room and tell them it’s not time to get up yet.

If your child wakes up too early and is in a crib, be sure to help his body understand it isn’t morning time by keeping him in his crib
in the dark room until normal wake time.   

Note for Toddlers/School-aged children:
If you have a toddler or an older child who relies on a clock to know when their “morning time” has arrived, set the clock one half hour ahead of the new time so that it reads 7:00 a.m. at the new time of 6:30 a.m. 

Allow your child to wake a bit earlier than normal (they will think it is 7:00 according to the clock but it will be 6:30 a.m., new time).

This will only be temporary as your child adjusts to wake at their usual 7:00 a.m. time after about one or two weeks.

​It may take children and babies a bit more time to fall asleep, this is normal, since the time is different initially they might seem tired earlier.

It usually takes about a week for children and babies to completely adjust to the new time, some children it can take up to a month. 

Be patient and stay very consistent, it will happen.

Erin Neri

As a parent, it's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed when it comes to your toddler's sleep habits. You may find yourself exhausted from trying to get them to fall asleep or stay asleep through the night.

This is where a Sleep Consultant ​like Erin at To the Moon and Back can help. Sleep consultants specialize in helping families create healthy sleep habits for their children, and here are some reasons why you should consider using one:

1. Tailored Sleep Plan: A sleep consultant can create a personalized sleep plan for your child, taking into account their age, sleep needs, and your family's unique situation. This plan can include things like a consistent bedtime routine, sleep training techniques, and strategies for dealing with common sleep challenges.
2. Professional Expertise: Sleep consultants have the expertise and knowledge to identify sleep issues and provide effective solutions. They stay up-to-date on the latest research in pediatric sleep and have experience working with children of different ages and sleep needs.
3. Consistency: One of the most important things for a toddler's sleep is consistency. A sleep consultant can help you establish a consistent sleep routine and provide ongoing support to ensure you stay on track.
4. Support: A sleep consultant can provide you with ongoing support throughout the sleep training process. They can answer any questions you have, offer guidance and encouragement, and help you stay motivated.
5. Improved Sleep: Ultimately, the goal of working with a sleep consultant is to improve your child's sleep. Better sleep can lead to improved behavior, cognitive function, and overall health for your child, as well as better sleep and less stress for you as a parent.

A Sleep Consultant can be a valuable resource for parents struggling with their toddler's sleep. They can provide a personalized sleep plan, professional expertise, consistency, ongoing support, and ultimately, help improve your child's sleep habits.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or exhausted by your child's sleep habits, consider working with a sleep consultant to help create healthy sleep habits for your family.

Book your Free 20-minute Sleep Evaluation Call to learn more about Erin's programs and how she can help change your family's life into one that sleeps well. 

So you’re on the fence about this whole, “Teaching your baby to sleep,” thing.

On the one hand, you know that sleep is essential for everyone in your family. You’ve read all the literature and have come to agree with the consensus of the pediatric community that sleep is vital to your baby’s development and well-being.

You’re 100 percent positive that your little one needs some help learning how to sleep well, and you’re dedicated to helping them overcome this obstacle.
And on the other hand, you’re nervous as hell about it.

​Almost every parent I’ve worked with has started off absolutely riddled with anxiety. They know there’s a problem that needs fixing and they’re committed to that solution, but even with all of the research and evidence that this is a safe, effective process, they’re still on pins and needles.

​There are two things I can pretty much guarantee you when it comes to teaching your baby to sleep through the night.

1. It’s going to be a challenge
2. It’s going to be eminently worth it.

I’ve never worked with a family whose baby went right down on the first night and just magically slept through from then on. Some have slept through the night on night two, most of them start seeing results on night three or four, but I won’t kid you, night one can be a trial.

I’ve also never worked with a family who didn’t feel like they had made a tremendous decision once their baby had learned to sleep through the night. The benefits to the whole family are almost indescribable.

Like many big decisions though, there are times that are ideal and times that are less so. Today, I’d like to offer some tips for deciding whether or not it’s the right time to take this challenging, but oh-so-rewarding journey.
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I usually recommend that at least one parent is home for two weeks while you’re sleep training, so this might be a great opportunity to take the plunge.
I don’t advise parents to start sleep training within two weeks of traveling, but I’m guessing that’s not a concern for most of us at the moment since we’re all sticking pretty close to our home base.

Is the time right for baby?
The best chance for a quick and effective solution to your baby’s sleep issues is to implement the changes when they’re healthy and thriving. If baby’s dealing with reflux or colic, you’ll want to get that remedied before you start sleep training. There’s going to be some fussing and protest in the first few nights, and we want to make sure it’s only due to the change in their routine, not because of actual discomfort, and if they’re healthy, it’s much easier to pinpoint the reasons for their fussing.

​Can you stand a couple of nights without a lot of sleep?
I won’t sugar-coat it. Changing up someone’s sleep habits is almost never met with a lot of enthusiasm for the first night or two, so nobody’s likely to get a lot of rest for the first 48 hours. If you have an important meeting or a major event coming up in the next few days that you need to be in peak condition for, you might want to wait until next weekend to get things underway.
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Put up some blackout blinds like SleepOut BlackOut Curtains (use the Discount Code: TOTHEMOONSLEEP10). Or, barring that, tape up some garbage bags over the windows. It’s not pretty but 100% darkness will really help with daytime naps.

Get rid of any mobiles, crib aquariums, or light-emitting devices that claim to help baby sleep. (I can assure you, they don’t.) An ideal nursery is flat-out boring. Baby should recognize it as a place to do nothing but sleep, so keep their toys and stuffies in another room.

Bringing a new baby into the house is an incredible, exciting but also terrifying occasion, even more so when you have one or two children already. It can bring up a whole lot of questions.

How are the older children going to react to this new baby? Are they going to embrace the role of being an older sibling? Will they turn into jealous clingers who need constant attention? Will their schedule fit with your newborn's naps and feeding times? Most importantly, how is this going to affect the older child's bedtime?

Trying to juggle two or three different bedtime routines can be overwhelming if you're not ready for it. Trying to find fifteen minutes to feed your newborn while at the same time trying to get your toddler out of the bath can make you lose your mind. Toddlers just know that you're in a position where you're unable to chase them down and enforce the rules, so they are more likely to take advantage of that weakness.

So here are some strategies for those of you who have two or three little people, and are struggling to find a bedtime groove.

1. Have one bedtime for all the kids in the house. A lot of families I work with are shocked when I suggest that their three-year-olds should be going to bed at 7:00 PM, but at that age, kids still require between 10-12 hours of sleep a night, not including daytime naps. So if your toddler needs to be up at 7:00 AM, a 7:00 PM bedtime is reasonable. If the idea of having 2 or 3 bedtime routines at the same time seems overwhelming,  keep reading.
2. Team up and switch off if you can. If you're the lucky one and have a partner who's home and able to help you get the kids to bed, put together a list of what needs to get done. Split the tasks evenly, and then switch off every other night. That will help make sure neither of you feels like you have the short end of the stick. It will also get your kids used to either parent putting them to bed, so if one isn't available, it won't throw your them into a tailspin just because things aren't the same.
3. Find opportunities to multitask. As a parent, either through talent or necessity, we become the undisputed champions of multitasking. Trying to get through two or three separate bedtime routines is going to leave you exhausted and probably won't fit with your schedule, so double up when you can. Let the kids bathe together, feed your newborn while you read your toddler a bedtime story, sing songs while you change baby's diaper. Wherever you can overlap, use that opportunity for all it's worth.
4. Create and stick to a 15-30 minute bedtime routine. Bedtime routines are super important to get your kids to sleep through the night. It's not just a great way of giving them a sense of time; it also works as a signal to their brains and bodies that bedtime is coming. The routine stimulates melatonin production and turns things down internally to prepare for a long, rejuvenating sleep. A bath is a great place to start. It's a strong signal that sleep is just around the corner.
5. Save a special activity for bedtime. Typically, the older child can entertain themselves for a little while so you can finish up with your youngest. It's not always the case, but if it is, find a non-screen-related activity that will keep your toddler engaged and quiet. Make this activity exclusive to that fifteen minutes that you need one-on-one time to put the baby down. Don't make it too exciting, or you could end up in a battle because your child's bedtime activity is too much fun to put down.
6. Embrace child labour. Toddlers love structure and predictability. Giving them a helper position when you're putting your younger child to bed is a great way to keep them busy.  Being a helper also gives them a feeling of triumph before they head to bed. Show them where to find the diapers and have them bring them to you when you're getting your baby ready for bedtime.
7. Stick to your guns. Toddlers test boundaries in a constant, systematic fashion. "I'm not allowed to throw the football in the house? OK. Maybe I'm allowed to throw the soccer ball in the house!" And because you're attention is split between them and a new baby, you might feel a little indebted to them. That's OK, but changing or loosening the rules could end up upsetting them more, not less. As I said before, kids rely on predictability and structure. If suddenly they get the feeling like the fences are down, they typically feel a little lost, and that's going to lead to more tantrums, not fewer. So keep the routine and the expectations as close as possible to the way they were before their sibling arrived.
8. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how tempted you might be, don't let your toddler watch a show. I know how putting your child in front of the TV or handing them your phone can buy you a few minutes of quiet, but screens can be the ultimate downfall. The entire time that they're holding your child's attention, they're flooding their eyes with blue light. That might not seem like a bad tradeoff for fifteen minutes to tend to your baby. However, blue light stimulates cortisol production and inhibits melatonin. So those fifteen minutes of peace and quiet could very easily cost you hours of trying to get your overtired child to settle down for the night.
9. Accept the fact that it’s not always going to go smoothly. These are, young children we're dealing with, so if things start to go off track a bit, don't look at it as a failure on anyone's part. They're going to have regressions, rough nights, and occasional meltdowns. Staying calm and level-headed will be the best thing you can do to make sure these situations don't escalate into something more frustrating and upsetting for everyone involved.
10. Embrace the peace and quiet. Once everyone is in bed, take at least five or ten minutes to let yourself unwind. Don't check your email, start a load of laundry, or catch up on whatever responsibilities you've got to look after. We all know that this parenting thing is a stressful gig. So when you get a moment to pat yourself on the back and find a little calm in your life, you should embrace it. The minutes right after the kids fall asleep are a prime opportunity to do just that. So take some time to celebrate the superhero that is you. There will be another night of challenges and rewards for the whole family right around the corner.

​Is it time to reach out for help from a sleep expert?
If you are struggling to get your children to bed on time without bedtime battles and tears galore then reach out for help from your favourite sleep consultant. Book your Free 20-minute Sleep Evaluation Call where will will talk about your family's sleep challenges and identify why they are happening and how I can help.