Category: Parental Support

The Benefits of Sleep

8/8/2025

The Benefits of Sleep

Sleep has always been and will likely continue to be a mystery.
From an evolutionary standpoint, it seems like something that we should have abandoned a few hundred thousand years ago. The fact that we fall into a near unconscious state for a third of our day, every day, leaving us vulnerable to whatever horrifying dangers we faced in the early days of civilization, it makes me wonder how we ever made it this far as a species.

However, it just goes to show that whatever sleep does for us, it’s obviously vital to our health and well-being. If it weren’t, those individuals who needed less sleep would have risen to the top of the gene pool a long, long time ago, and those who thrived on a lot of sleep would have been, well, eaten probably. Man, I’m glad I was born in this day and age. Being eaten would suck.

As of yet, the scientific community hasn’t been able to tell us exactly why we sleep, but there is a consensus among researchers (and new mothers) that adequate sleep is beneficial in numerous ways.

We’re all familiar with the fact that we have a hard time focusing on
information when we’re running on too little sleep. Absorbing information is only half the battle, though.

Actually, if you really want to get technical, it’s only a third. Learning and memory are divided into three functions. Acquisition, consolidation, and recall. Put simply, you need to receive the info, then you need to stabilize the memory of it, and finally, you need to be able to access it when you’re
watching “Jeopardy!”

Acquisition and recall primarily occur while you’re awake. Consolidation, on the other hand, “takes place during sleep through the strengthening of the neural connections that form our memories. The overall evidence suggests that adequate sleep each day is essential for learning and memory.” (1)

So even if you manage to focus on what you’re learning and acquire the information, without sleep, that information won’t be properly stored in the brain. When called upon to access it, you’ll find yourself drawing a blank and making that face. You know the one your husband gets when you ask him to communicate his needs more often? That one.

Now, I’m a firm believer that learning and education should be a lifelong pursuit, but once we’re out of school, learning becomes substantially more optional. For your kids, though, learning is their primary responsibility for the first 18-20 years of their lives, so considering how much they need to retain, the importance of a healthy sleep schedule is hard to overstate.

We all know that when we don’t get enough sleep, we get short-tempered and irritable. A study from the University of Pennsylvania showed that subjects who experienced even partial sleep deprivation reported
feelings of stress, anger, sadness, and mental exhaustion. (2)

This isn’t exactly new information. We’re all aware that we get emotional in very negative ways when we’re running on too little sleep, but
why? Why shouldn’t it have similar effects to, say, a few glasses of wine? Why doesn’t sleep deprivation cause us to start telling people we love them or develop an overconfidence in our karaoke abilities?

Again, it’s a bit of a mystery, but some researchers have suggested that sleep deprivation stimulates activity in the amygdala. That’s the little almond-shaped part of the brain that’s responsible for feelings of, among other things, anger and fear.

These amped-up feelings can lead to an overall sense of stress and hostility toward others, which is probably part of the reason why you lost it at your co-worker when he asked you how your weekend was. The other reason is that he regularly uses finger guns and says
things like, “Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays,” so sleep deprivation isn’t the only villain here.

“Sleep services all aspects of our body in one way or another: molecular, energy balance, as well as intellectual function, alertness and mood,” says Dr. Merrill Mitler, a sleep expert and neuroscientist at the National Institutes of Health. “Sleep affects almost every tissue in our bodies,”

We can see how getting enough sleep is essential to learning and emotional well-being, but what about some more tangible benefits? Well, short of eating and breathing, you would be hard-pressed to find anything with more health benefits than getting enough sleep.

People who regularly get between 7-9 hours of sleep see significantly lower rates of obesity, high blood pressure, stroke, infections, depression, diabetes, inflammation, hypertension, heart disease, heart attacks, and heart failure. They also report higher satisfaction with their sex lives, better performance at work and take fewer sick days than people who
typically sleep less than 7 hours a night. (3)

So, there’s no question that sleep, while it remains mysterious, is definitely an essential part of a healthy and happy lifestyle. But that all changes when you have a baby, right?

I mean, you’ve brought a new life into this world, and you’re expected to sacrifice your sleep for a few years, maybe six or seven at the most, in order to respond to your baby’s needs, which, for some reason, they seem to have in spades in the middle of the night.

This is one of the most problematic myths about parenthood, and it needs to be put to rest.

Because here’s the thing: your baby needs sleep even more than you do. Those little bodies may look like they’re idle when they sleep, but there’s an absolute frenzy of work going on behind the scenes.
Growth hormones are being secreted to help baby gain weight and sprout up, cytokines are being produced to fight off infections and produce antibodies, and all kinds of miraculous, intricate systems are at work laying the foundation for your baby’s growth and development, and they’ll continue to do so through adolescence, provided they’re given the opportunity to do so.

Nature does the heavy lifting. All that’s required of your little one is to close their eyes and sleep.

This being my field of expertise, I see a LOT of people telling new parents that babies just don’t sleep well and that they should expect their little ones to be waking them up seven or eight times a night.

So to those people, I would like to say, you have absolutely NO idea what you’re talking about, OKAY? Your advice isn’t just wrong; it’s harmful. Telling people to accept their baby’s sleep issues as a part of the parenting experience is preventing them from addressing the problem, and that’s a serious concern for everybody in the family. Not because they’re selfish and enjoy sleeping late. It’s because they, and even more so, their kids, need adequate sleep for all of the reasons I’ve listed above.

And if your baby is waking up 7 or 8 times a night and crying until you come into the room and rock her back to sleep, that’s not motherhood as usual. That’s a baby who has trouble sleeping, and it’s interfering with their body’s natural development. It’s no different than an ear infection or jaundice. It’s a health issue, and it has a remedy, so anyone telling you to grin and bear it for the next six years is peddling horrible advice. I’m sure it’s not done maliciously, but it still needs to stop.

Accepting inadequate sleep in infancy leads to accepting it in adolescence, and eventually, you end up with grown adults who don’t give sleep the priority it requires, and all of those serious health issues follow along with it.

So, to every new mother out there, I implore you, don’t accept the idea of sleep as a luxury that you’re going to have to learn to live without for a few years.

If your baby’s not sleeping, address it. It’s not selfish; it’s not unrealistic; it’s necessary, and the benefits are plentiful.

- Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist

Endnotes
(1) Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School, retrieved from
healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/benefits-of-sleep/learning-memory, December18, 2007
(2) Sleep. 1997 Apr 20 (4):267-77. Cumulative sleepiness, mood disturbance, and psychomotor vigilance performance decrements during a week of sleep restricted to 4-5 hours per night.
Dinges DF1, Pack F, Williams K, Gillen KA, Powell JW, Ott GE, Aptowicz C, Pack AI.
(3) National Sleep Foundation, 2008 Sleep in America Poll, Summary of Findings retrieved from sleepfoundation.org/sites/default/files/2008%20POLL%20SOF.PDF

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Why Is My Toddler or Preschooler Suddenly Not Sleeping Well?

11/26/2024

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Why Is My Toddler or Preschooler Suddenly Not Sleeping Well?

As a parent, it’s not uncommon to find yourself asking, “What happened to my great sleeper?” Toddlers and preschoolers who once slept soundly through the night may begin to experience sleep disruptions.

But why?

The reality is that as your child grows and develops, their sleep habits can change—sometimes dramatically. Let’s explore some common issues that could derail your toddler or preschooler’s sleep and offer solutions to get them back on track.

Why Is My Toddler or Preschooler Struggling to Sleep?
Toddlerhood is an exciting yet challenging phase for both children and their parents. Research published in Sleep Medicine Reviews highlights that toddlers often delay bedtime, seek more attention, and wake up during the night as they assert their growing independence. These behaviours are normal and closely tied to the developmental changes happening at this age【4†source】.

Here are some common factors that may be affecting your toddler’s sleep:

Developmental Milestones: As toddlers and preschoolers grow, they experience major developmental changes, particularly around language and cognitive abilities. These milestones, though exciting, can temporarily disrupt sleep patterns. If your child is learning to speak or mastering new skills, they may have a harder time settling down for sleep.
Attention-Seeking Behaviour: Children in this age group may crave extra attention, especially if there have been recent changes at home, like starting daycare or welcoming a new sibling. This can lead to bedtime resistance and frequent night wakings as your child seeks comfort or company.
Increased Independence: Toddlers and preschoolers love to test boundaries! As they gain more independence, they may resist bedtime or nighttime routines. This can manifest in tantrums, defiant behaviour, or even waking up multiple times at night.
Transitioning to a Bed: Moving from a crib to a toddler bed is a big milestone but can also cause sleep disruptions. The newfound freedom may tempt your child to get out of bed, making bedtime more difficult and leading to frequent night wakings.
Nighttime Fears: As children’s imagination grows, so do their fears. Nightmares or a fear of the dark may start to creep in around this age, which can make bedtime feel daunting for them.
Inconsistent Bedtime Routine: If your toddler or preschooler’s bedtime routine is inconsistent, their sleep habits can suffer. Routine is key to helping them feel secure and calm as they wind down for the night. Creating a predictable bedtime routine can help signal to your child that it’s time to sleep.
Illness: It’s no surprise that illness can disrupt a child’s sleep. Whether it’s a cold, ear infection, or teething, physical discomfort can cause night wakings or difficulty falling asleep.

Solutions for Better Sleep
If your toddler or preschooler’s sleep has been derailed, don’t worry—there are steps you can take to get back on track. Here are a few tips to help:

Stick to a Consistent Routine: Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can signal to your child that it’s time to wind down and go to bed. Include calming activities like reading a book and taking a warm bath.
Set Clear Boundaries: While it’s normal for toddlers and preschoolers to test limits, setting clear and consistent bedtime rules will help reinforce good sleep habits.
Limit Screen Time: Try reducing screen time in the evening, particularly the hour or two before bed.
Monitor Diet: Keep an eye on what your child eats and drinks, especially before bed. Reducing sugar intake and avoiding hidden sources of caffeine can improve sleep quality.
Encourage Physical Activity: Ensure your toddler or preschooler gets enough exercise during the day, but avoid overly stimulating activities right before bedtime.

Final Thoughts
Sleep disruptions in toddlers and preschoolers can be frustrating. Still, they are often temporary and can be managed with a few adjustments. By understanding the factors that might impact your child’s sleep and implementing some simple strategies, you can help them (and yourself!) get the rest they need.

If you’re struggling with your toddler’s sleep, I’m here to help! Feel free to reach out for personalized support and guidance.

Author

Erin Neri - Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of To The Moon and Back Sleep Consulting since 2016.

Proud mother of 2 young school aged boys who did not come into the world preprogrammed with independent sleep skills. 28+ years of training & experience working with children and families including her BA in Applied Psychology, Infant Mental Health Training, Early Childhood Education & Experience. Completed Integrative Feeding Specialist Certification in Oct. 2022.

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Room Sharing with Your Baby: A Guide for Parents

11/12/2024

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Room Sharing with Your Baby: A Guide for Parents

As a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, I understand that room sharing with your baby can be both a comforting and challenging experience.
While the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room sharing for at least the first six months—up to one year ideally—for the benefits it brings, it’s essential to navigate this time with a balance that promotes restful sleep for everyone involved. Here’s what you need to know about the do’s and don’ts of room sharing.

The Do’s of Room Sharing

Use White Noise: If you find that every little sound wakes your baby—or keeps you awake—consider using white noise. A low-level white noise machine can help mask the noises you or your partner might make during the night, creating a soothing environment for your baby. It’s like bringing a bit of the womb’s calming environment into your home.
Create a Barrier: Sometimes, your baby might wake up simply because they’re too aware of your presence. Especially once your baby reaches the 6-month mark, try setting up a screen, curtain, or some kind of partition between your bed and the baby’s sleep space to minimize this. This can create a small sense of separation that helps everyone sleep more soundly.
Stick to a Routine: Consistency is crucial when room sharing. Establishing a regular bedtime routine will help signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep, no matter where they are. Whether it’s a bath, a story, or a lullaby, sticking to the same routine each night can make bedtime smoother for both of you. It also gives the baby an opportunity to learn to sleep and settle without your presence in the room.
Consider an Earlier Transition: While the AAP advises room sharing for up to a year, many sleep experts find that transitioning your baby to their ownroom around six months can improve sleep quality for both you and your baby. If your baby starts to wake more often due to your proximity, this might be a sign that they’re ready for their own space.

The Don’ts of Room Sharing

Don’t Co-Sleep: It’s important to remember that room sharing means sharing the same room, not the same bed. Co-sleeping can significantly increase the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related dangers. Your baby should always have their own safe sleep space with a firm mattress and no loose bedding or pillows.
Don’t Ignore the Signs: If your baby is waking more frequently because they can see or hear you, it might be time to think about moving them to their own room, even if it’s earlier than you planned. Frequent night wakings can disrupt everyone’s sleep and lead to overtiredness, which is challenging for both baby and parents.
Don’t Forget About Your Own Sleep: Your sleep is just as important as your baby’s. If room sharing is causing significant sleep disturbances for you, it’s worth reconsidering your sleeping arrangement. Remember, well-rested parents are better equipped to care for their baby during the day.
Don’t Rely Solely on Room Sharing for Safety: While room sharing can reduce the risk of SIDS, it’s just one aspect of safe sleep. Always place your baby on their back to sleep, use a firm sleep surface, and avoid any soft bedding or stuffed animals in the crib.

Finding the Balance
Room sharing can be a wonderful way to keep your baby close and safe during those early months, but it’s essential to find a balance that works for your family. While sleep experts agree that everyone would ideally have their own sleep space, that’s not always possible.

By incorporating strategies like using white noise and creating a small barrier between you and your baby, you can improve the quality of sleep for everyone.

Remember, your family’s well-being is the priority. If room sharing is the best option for your situation, know that you can make it work. And when the time comes, transitioning your baby to their own room can be a positive step for everyone’s sleep health. As your Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

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Comfort Items And Sleep Aids: Helping Children Adjust To A New Bedroom

9/22/2023

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Discover the keys to helping children adjust to a new bedroom with comfort items, sleep aids, and a supportive bedtime routine.

helping a child adjust to a new bedroom with comfort items, sleep aids, and a supportive bedtime routine

Moving to a new house can be an exciting adventure, but it often comes with a fair share of anxiety and uncertainty for children. One of the key challenges parents face during this transition is helping children adjust to a new bedroom, which plays a pivotal role in maintaining healthy sleep habits. In this article, we'll explore how comfort items and sleep aids can be instrumental in creating a soothing and welcoming environment for your child. By doing so, you'll not only ease their transition but also ensure that they maintain healthy sleep habits during a move. Let's delve into making a new bedroom a comforting haven for your little one.

Creating a Cozy Haven

When embarking on helping children adjust to a new bedroom, the first step is to create a cozy haven that feels like home. Preparations should start even before the relocation. Therefore, make sure to organize everything thoughtfully as you pack up their old bedroom for the move. This approach ensures their favorite items and comfort pieces are readily accessible in their new space. Soft, inviting bedding with familiar patterns or colors can make the new room feel like a comforting cocoon. Consider involving your child in the decoration process, allowing them to choose a few decor items or wall art pieces that resonate with their personality.

Additionally, if possible, maintain the layout of their old bedroom as closely as possible. Familiarity in placement can provide a sense of continuity that's incredibly reassuring during this period of change. Remember, the goal is to craft an atmosphere that fosters feelings of safety and security, helping your child transition smoothly to their new bedroom.

The Power of Familiarity

Comfort items are akin to a child's trusted companions. They carry the essence of familiarity, providing security amid change. These cherished items are crucial when helping children adjust to a new bedroom. Whether it's a stuffed animal, a well-loved blanket, or a favorite toy, these treasures can soothe and reassure the child.

As you settle into the new space, encourage your child to place their beloved items in appropriate locations. Their old bedtime buddies can serve as anchors, connecting the past with the present. The scent and touch of these items can evoke a strong sense of comfort, helping your child feel more at ease in their unfamiliar surroundings.

Familiarity doesn't just stop at comfort items. Consider replicating the lighting conditions and room temperature from their previous bedroom. If the old room had a cozy reading nook, recreate something similar. These seemingly small elements collectively contribute to creating a reassuring ambiance, reinforcing the idea that this new bedroom is still a safe and welcoming place.

Nightlights and Sleep Aids
Light and darkness significantly affect sleep, especially for children adjusting to a new bedroom. The fear of the dark can be a common challenge during this transition, and nightlights can be a simple yet effective solution. A gentle nightlight can provide a reassuring glow, dispelling shadows and making the room feel less intimidating. Opt for a soft, warm light or dim red light that won't disrupt sleep patterns.

In addition to nightlights, consider incorporating sleep aids into your child's bedtime routine. White noise machines can drown out unfamiliar sounds, creating a peaceful auditory environment. Ocean or rain sounds can be particularly helpful in lulling your child to sleep. Using a Zenimal to help your child drift off to sleep with a peaceful sleep meditation or story.

It's essential to choose sleep aids that are age-appropriate and safe for your child's use. These aids can offer comfort and security, making adjusting to a new bedroom a smoother experience. The goal is to create an environment where your child feels protected and relaxed, ensuring a good night's sleep even in unfamiliar surroundings.

Bedtime Routine

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine is one of the most effective ways to help children adjust to a new bedroom. This ritual signals your child that it's time to wind down and provides a sense of predictability in their new environment.

Begin by setting a bedtime and sticking to it as closely as possible, even on weekends. That helps regulate your child's internal clock and ensures they get the recommended amount of sleep for their age. Incorporate calming activities like reading a book, taking a warm bath, or gentle cuddling into the routine. These activities help your child relax and create positive associations with bedtime.

If you have a baby, a well-structured bedtime routine can be instrumental in helping them get better naps throughout the day. Keep the room dimly lit to signal that it's nighttime. As you go through the routine consistently, your child will understand that it's time for sleep, adjusting their new bedroom to be smoother and more restful.

Parental Support and Communication

Your support and open communication are indispensable while helping children adjust to a new bedroom. Children often look to their parents for reassurance, especially in times of change. Here are some key ways to provide the support your child needs:

Listen to Their Concerns: Encourage your child to express their feelings and concerns about the new bedroom. Listening actively and empathetically can help alleviate their worries.
Be Patient and Understanding: Adjusting to a new environment can take time. Be patient with any sleep disturbances or anxiety your child may experience. Reassure them that it's normal to feel this way.
Stay Consistent: Consistency in your approach is crucial. Stick to the established bedtime routine, even when faced with resistance. This consistency provides a sense of security.
Physical Presence: Spend extra time with your child in their new bedroom, whether reading a story or simply sitting together. Your presence can make the room feel cozier.
Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small victories. When your child successfully sleeps through the night or becomes more comfortable in their new space, acknowledge and praise their efforts.

Maintaining open lines of communication and offering unwavering support will help your child confidently navigate the adjustment period, reinforcing their sense of security in their new bedroom.

In Conclusion

In helping children adjust to a new bedroom, we've discovered the incredible impact of comfort items, sleep aids, and a consistent bedtime routine. Parental support, communication, and proactive problem-solving play pivotal roles in this transition. Remember, maintaining healthy sleep habits during a move is essential for your child's well-being. By creating a cozy haven, embracing familiarity, and providing the necessary tools for comfort, you can ensure that your child not only adjusts but thrives in their new bedroom.

Image via Pexels

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