​“There are two things in this world that life doesn’t prepare you for. Twins.”

You’re the proud parent of twins! Congratulations! And my sincerest respect and empathy for the challenges you’ll likely encounter. Twin babies, especially for first-time parents, are a massive amount of work, but one of the most valuable investments in your whole family’s well-being is to get them sleeping well.

That’s typically going to be a little more complicated than teaching one baby some solid sleep skills for all the obvious reasons that come to mind. If one baby wakes up crying, you’re pretty much guaranteed that the other will be right behind them, and soothing two babies at the same time is just objectively tougher than one.

To further complicate the situation, twins are often premature, and preemies are very sleepy babies. And because one baby crying is likely to wake the other, parents of twins are often quick to rush in and soothe a crying baby back to sleep by any means necessary, which can lead to stronger feed/sleep associations. 

​So I’m not going to sugarcoat it, but imparting those awesome sleep skills on your twins won’t be a walk in the park. It will require double the determination and discipline on your part, but it’s absolutely achievable, and once your little ones have got the hang of it, you, as the parent, will have a much easier go of things.

Think about it; what would you do with the extra time you’d have once both your babies are napping on the same schedule and sleeping through the night? How much would that ease your parenting burden? It’s an absolute game-changer for most parents of one baby, so multiply that by two and you get… a double game-changer? Two game changers? Whatever. You get my point. 

So, it will be tricky, but if you’re ready, let’s dive into some strategies to maximize your chances for early success.

First off, let’s look at their sleeping arrangements. I usually suggest putting both babies in separate rooms if you have the space. Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be a bedroom. You can set up a pack-and-play in your office if that’s available. It’s not necessary, mind you. This can be done with both babies in the same room, but if one of them starts making some noise, having them in separate rooms can help prevent one from waking up the other. It’s just a temporary setup while we get those skills honed, so don’t worry about giving up a room permanently. You should be able to move them into the same room in a couple of weeks.

​You’re also going to want to keep them on the same schedule. The great thing about twins is that their sleep needs will be pretty much the same, so putting them on the same nap/bedtime schedule is effective for both of them. 

Now, you’ll likely run into a situation where one baby sleeps longer than the other, and that’s fine up to a point. I set the limit at about 30 minutes before you should wake up your other baby to prevent them from getting too out of sync. When nap time rolls around again, just ignore that extra 30 minutes and put them down at the same time.

For obvious reasons, having both babies going down and waking up at the same time is also pretty important for mom’s sanity. Having a little time to yourself during the day can make all the difference in the world when you’re dealing with twins. Once they’ve adapted to their new schedule, you’ll have much more time to take care of the other responsibilities of having two babies. You might even get a little “me-time” in there. 

As for nighttime, I mentioned earlier that mothers of twins are a little more likely to respond quickly when one of them wakes up crying in the night and more likely to try to quiet Baby down with whatever method is quick and effective in order to prevent them from waking up their sibling. 

I will ask you to resist that impulse a little for the next seven to ten days. Obviously, I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t soothe a crying baby, but if your usual response is to rush in and offer a feed, a pacifier, or rock baby back to sleep, you’re probably impeding baby’s ability to develop those self-soothing skills, and letting them figure out how to fall asleep on their own is a vital part of the process.

It’s a big ask, I know, so plan to get started on a night when you don’t have to be up early or looking your absolute best the next day because the first few nights will likely be a little rocky. Just remember that you’re going through this rough patch in order to arrive somewhere wonderful on the other side.

As for the very likely scenario that one baby wakes up and the other doesn’t, this is where things can get a little tricky. We want to keep them both on the same schedule, but we also don’t want to interrupt their sleep if we don’t have to. My advice on this situation, outside of weight gain issues or specific instructions from your doctor, is to let your babies sleep. If one wakes up for a feed, don’t wake the other one and offer a feed as well. We will prioritize sleep for now and allow Baby to make up the calories during the day.

After three or four days, you’ll notice something magical start to happen. As those independent sleep skills start to develop, you’ll realize that one fussing baby won’t be nearly as likely to wake up their sibling. That’s because they’re spending more time in deeper stages of sleep, and as you’ve probably noticed, when a baby gets into a deep sleep, they can sleep through almost anything. 

The other benefit that will start taking effect is that sleep begets sleep. It’s a little counter-intuitive, but overtiredness fires up our cortisol production, which makes it harder for us to get to sleep, so as your twins start sleeping more, they’ll actually have an easier time getting to sleep and staying asleep long enough to get into that sweet, restorative, deep stage of sleep that we’re looking for.

Finally, make sure you’re ready before you get started. I see a lot of parents get started when they’re not fully committed to the process, only to quit a few nights in, which is thoroughly confusing for their little ones and typically teaches them that they need to fuss louder and longer in order to get mommy to come and nurse or rock them to sleep. So, if you’re not entirely sure that this is the time, that’s absolutely fine. Consistency is the key here, so don’t just “give it a try” if you don’t think you’re ready to commit. 

It’s going to be a lot of work, make no mistake, but I can promise you that it’s going to be so, so worth it, and I’m here to support you every step of the way once you decide it’s time to get those sweet little bundles sleeping through the night. 
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​Relocating with kids and settling in

If you are wondering how to move with kids efficiently, talk to your children about the upcoming stage. You can relocate with your little ones easily if you work with movers and take the extra time to help your kids adjust. Explain why you're moving and highlight the positive aspects of the new home, such as a bigger backyard or proximity to a favorite park.  Include your children in the packing and unpacking process. Let them help choose paint colors or decorations for their new, shared bedroom. 

This involvement empowers them and helps them feel a sense of ownership over their space. Try to recreate elements of their previous bedroom in the new one. Arrange their furniture in a similar layout and use familiar bedding and stuffed animals to provide comfort and a sense of continuity. Maintain regular routines as much as possible, especially bedtime routines. Consistency in daily activities helps children feel secure in their new surroundings. Make moving into their shared bedroom a special event. 

Ideas on how to divide the bedroom

Transforming a shared bedroom into a harmonious haven often begins with creating distinct, individual spaces. One ingenious way to achieve this is by employing physical dividers or room partitions. These can be in the form of bookshelves, screens, or even curtains. Another strategy to divide and conquer shared bedrooms is strategically planning furniture placement. Opt for symmetrical layouts that create a visual balance in the room. 

When it comes to shared bedrooms, color can be a powerful tool in defining individual spaces. Work with your children to select a color scheme or theme for their respective sides of the room. Whether bold, vibrant colors or soothing pastels, the chosen palette can set the tone for each child's area. Decorate with bedding, curtains, and accessories that match their preferences while staying within the selected color scheme. 

Personalizing each side of the bedroom

Shared bedrooms may be shared, but that doesn't mean individuality should take a back seat. Celebrating each child's unique personality and interests is the perfect opportunity. Encourage them to express themselves through their side of the bedroom. Let one sibling's side reflect their passion for art with an easel and a gallery wall of their creations. On the other side, create a cozy reading nook for the bookworm, with their favorite titles proudly displayed. 

Empower your children by involving them in decision-making when decorating their respective sides of the room. Provide them with furniture, colors, and decorations options, and let them choose what resonates most with their style. It's a chance for them to learn about their preferences and explore their creativity while contributing to the overall aesthetics of the shared bedroom.