This is it, mama. This is the final boss. The last level. The icing on the parenting cake.

​​Well, I suppose you still have about 15 or 16 years of parenting left before you send them off to college, but those are a day at the park compared to this.

I’m talking, of course, about nighttime potty training.
This is another one of those parenting milestones that can seem peculiar to outsiders. Still, for those of us who have been through it, we know that a celebration of epic proportions is in order on the day we finally say our final farewell to diapers. It’s not as sexy as completing your Master’s degree or landing a big promotion, but handing down that Diaper Genie to
one of your friends after getting your toddler 100% potty trained feels pretty similar on the old accomplishment-o-meter.

Today, I’ve some tips for you to determine whether your toddler is ready for nighttime potty training and, if so, how to maximize your chances of success without sacrificing the progress you’ve made with their sleep.

So, jumping right in, is your little one ready to go the night without using the potty?

Notice how I phrased that specifically? I’ve seen nighttime potty training approaches that involve actually going into your child’s bedroom at regular intervals during the night and waking them up to go to the bathroom!
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All the nopes to this approach. Every last nope in the nope collection. We do not sacrifice sleep for potty training. It’s way too confusing for a toddler to be told, after all of the work they’ve done to finally start sleeping peacefully through the night, that they now have to wake up every three or four hours to go to the bathroom.

If your toddler can’t get through the night without needing to pee, they’re not ready for this.
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Leave their diaper on at night and tackle this at a later date.

​If, however, your little one’s had a few nights of waking up with a dry diaper, that could mean that they’re up to the challenge. That’s really the prime indicator that this might be a good time to give it a shot. Two or three dry mornings in a week suggests that their bladder muscles have developed to the point where they can hold it for the night, so if that’s the case, let’s give it a shot.

Now, prepare yourself. I’m sure there are stories out there about The Toddler Who Potty Trained Without a Single Accident, but the odds of that happening are not in your favour. Not even close.

So pick a week when you don’t have a whole lot going on, get some extra sheets and PJs at the ready, and get your zen on because the most important thing here is patience. There will be some accidents, and accepting this reality ahead of time will help make the process bearable for you and your little one.
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​Keep this mindset when you’re explaining what’s going on to your toddler. It’s great to be enthusiastic and super-positive, but don’t make it sound too monumental. We’ve got to keep in mind that this isn’t something they have control over, and building up expectations on them can result in some feelings of failure and disappointment if they do have an accident in the night. This is also something to consider if you’re looking at a “reward chart” or some such thing for nights without an accident. I’m
not inherently against them, but if your toddler tends to get really upset if they don’t make the grade, it might be better to let them succeed or fail without rewards and consequences. 
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Make sure your toddler gets on the potty right before bed, even if they say they don’t need to go.

I know many parents have found that a potty session 30 minutes before bedtime, followed by another one right before bed, has yielded the best results.
When an accident happens, as it probably will at least a few times, don’t act disappointed or irritated. (Go ahead and feel that way, sure, but you keep that noise to yourself.) Just take your toddler by the hand and walk them back to their room, get them cleaned up and into some fresh pyjamas, and change their bed with the clean sheets you’ve prepared ahead of time.

I do have one really sweet pro tip for you here. Grab some plastic sheeting, lay a layer over the mattress, then add a set of bed sheets, followed by another layer of plastic, and finally another set of bed sheets. That way, if there’s an accident in the night, you just go in, strip off the top layer, and bam! There’s a clean, dry, freshly made bed waiting underneath.

That’ll help get you and your little one back to bed in no time flat.
Keep the room as dark as possible, keep the process brief, and avoid putting your little one in the bath unless absolutely necessary. Getting into the tub is likely to throw a wrench in your child’s sleep for the night. They might get it into their heads that wetting the bed gets them fifteen minutes in the bath, which, for some kids, might sound like a pretty sweet proposition.

So what happens if it doesn’t take? If you’re still experiencing regular accidents after a week or two, consider the situation. Is your toddler ready and just not willing, or willing but not ready? And when you’re deciding, consider whether your own desire to see an end to diapers is influencing your decision. Any sane parent would love to say goodbye to diapers as soon as possible, but there really is no rushing this process. If they’re not ready, they’re not ready, and you’re just putting a lot of unnecessary stress on both of you by trying to get it done before it’s time.

To reiterate, one last time, getting your toddler out of their diaper is not worth sacrificing their sleep routine. Don’t attempt this crazy “dream-potty” routine where you try to get them to pee while they’re still sleeping, don’t wake them up halfway through the night to go to the bathroom, and don’t drop two hundred bucks on a bed-wetting alarm. (How is that even a thing?)

You’ll just be trading one issue for another, and since you’ve already put the work in to get them sleeping through the night, you’re much better off just waiting until the moment is right.

-Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist

​We’re all willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that our babies are properly nourished, obviously, but as anyone who’s been through this glorious journey of motherhood will tell you, kids are shrewd. They’re unimaginably clever. They will find ways to get what they want, and they will repeat them relentlessly.

Which is not their fault, obviously. They’re just working off of instinct. They know what they like, and at a young age, they like mom— a lot.
I’m talking all mom, all the time. You are to your baby what Pinterest is to middle-aged homeowners. Too much is never enough.

And given the fact that they really only have one method of communicating, if Mom’s not around and they don’t think that’s cool, they fire up their lungs, and they let out a cry.

However, obviously, they don’t only cry because they want Mom. They cry because they’re uncomfortable, or because they’ve got a dirty diaper, or because they’re too hot or too cold, and they cry because they’re hungry.

So when they wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, it’s tough to determine whether they need to eat or just want to see Mom back in the room.
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​I’m not trying to tell you that you shouldn’t respond to your baby’s crying. You know your baby better than anyone, and I imagine you can tell when something needs to be addressed based on the decibel level, intensity, pitch, and duration. But having said that, if your baby is waking up seven or eight times a night and insisting that you come in and rock her back to sleep, which can have a profound impact on everybody’s sleep, including hers.

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Many babies have developed a dependency on nursing, rocking, sucking, and so on in order to get to sleep, and it’s not something they can overcome in 15 or 20 minutes. Solving that issue requires some real work and a firm commitment from you, but we can discuss sleep training in a minute.

First things first, here are a few things to consider when you’re trying to determine this oh-so-prevalent parental riddle.

• IS BABY UNDER SIX MONTHS OLD?
Up until about the six-month mark, babies typically require at least one nighttime feeding. Their tummies are small, they haven’t started solid food yet, and formula and breast milk digest fairly quickly, so there’s a good chance they’re going to get a case of the munchies during the night.
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This isn’t the case for all babies, obviously. Some infants sleep through the night without a feed from a very early age and then pig out during the day, but generally speaking, you can expect to be summoned for a
nighttime feeding up until babies hit about six months.
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​• DOES BABY FALL ASLEEP INDEPENDENTLY?
Here lies the linchpin. The cornerstone of the whole equation is right here. Can your baby fall asleep on their own?
If you can put your baby down in her crib while she’s still awake, leave the room, and have baby fall asleep without any help from you, without a pacifier, or any other kind of outside assistance. In that case, those nighttime cries are far more likely to mean that she genuinely needs a hand with something when she wakes up crying at night.

Determining whether your baby’s hungry at night is obviously a complicated situation. Calories are vital, but so is sleep, so we typically end up paralyzed trying to balance the importance of the two. This tightrope is immeasurably easier to walk once you’ve taught your baby the skills they need to fall asleep on their own.

Once the habit of feeding to sleep is broken, you can feel much more confident that their requests for a nighttime feed are out of necessity, not just a way to grab a few extra minutes with mom.

And, as always, if you’re looking for some help teaching your little one those essential sleep skills, I’ve got you covered.

- Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist
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What is it about you having a lousy night’s sleep that makes everyone else so awful?

It seems that way, doesn’t it? You have a night of broken, interrupted, just plain lousy sleep. The next day, people are driving like they’ve been lobotomized, humming and hawing about their Starbucks order in front of you and asking you the same stupid question at work that you’ve already answered half a dozen times.

Seriously, is the universe just messing with you? Is there a hidden camera somewhere and a group of sadistic YouTube pranksters sending these cretins into your path?

Maybe. I’m not saying that’s not a possibility, but a more likely explanation is that your lack of sleep is making it impossible for you to react rationally to frustrating situations. 

Researchers from the University of Arizona released a study in 2006, which I discovered last week, showing that people deprived of sleep over a 55-hour period had...

• An increased tendency to blame others for problems
• Reduced willingness to alleviate a conflict situation by accepting blame
• Increased aggression
• Lower desire to behave in ways that facilitate effective social interaction

I know this might not seem like especially earth-shaking news, but it speaks to a broader point. 

So, let’s imagine that you and your partner are the proud parents of a new baby. Your lives are undoubtedly blessed, but let’s not kid ourselves; a new baby is a mammoth responsibility, and they require their parents to make, on average, one million decisions a day. (I’m estimating there, but it’s for sure in the ballpark. Let’s say a million-ish.)

And for every decision that has to be made, you and your partner need to come to some sort of an agreement that it’s the right way to go. 

• What time should we put him to bed? 
• What do we do when he starts crying? 
• Are we going to breastfeed? Are we able to? 

Those are all questions that need to be agreed upon and then reevaluated if things aren’t going smoothly. Those are just three of an infinite number of choices you’ll make in the first few weeks alone. 

And every one of them presents an opportunity for disagreement.
Now, you and your partner may have a great method for resolving your disputes. You may have already agreed on a lot of these questions before you even got pregnant. Still, as any parent knows, all of those decisions are up for renewal the second things start going off the rails. 

​So here you are, faced with all of these decisions, all of which need to be approved by you and your partner; you’re frustrated because things aren’t going smoothly, to begin with, and to top it all off, your ability to recognize and respond to each other in a rational, civilized manner has been seriously compromised.

Two people are forced to debate the most critical decisions they’re likely to make in their lives, and they’re psychologically primed to blame one another, get angry, and be less likely to play fair or accept responsibility. 
Nightmare, right? 

On top of that, couples who don’t get enough sleep are less likely to show gratitude towards each other and significantly more likely to feel unappreciated, according to Amie Gordon, a doctorate candidate in social-personality psychology at UC Berkeley. 

And as though that’s not enough, consider the fact that lack of sleep decreases libido, which means you won’t be having sex as often, if at all. Many of the parents I’ve worked with have told me they’ve stopped having sex altogether since one of them is sleeping on the couch or sleeping next to baby, and in those rare opportunities where they get the chance to fool around, they both say they’re too tired and just not in the mood.

Loads of couples get through this period in their lives with their partnership intact, and I’m not trying to suggest that sleep deprivation is going to be the end of your relationship. A baby who isn’t sleeping isn’t necessarily going to result in divorce, but I can say without reservation that it certainly won’t help.

​Babies are amazing, right? I mean c’mon. What can possibly compare with those first few months when you and your partner stand over the crib together and look down on that precious new life that the two of you created together? It’s the most romantic experience I can envision, and it’s a period in your life that deserves to be cherished. That’s not so easy to do if you and your partner are constantly fighting against each other because neither of you is getting enough sleep.

There are so many reasons to make your little one’s sleep a priority when it comes to their well-being. Still, I’d ask you to take a selfish little detour for a moment and consider what it can mean for you, your partner and your relationship. After all, if there’s one gift your kids always appreciate, it’s seeing their parents happy, united, and in love. 

So before you commit to couples therapy, before you move to separate bedrooms, before you even get into one more heated argument over which route to take to daycare, try taking a week to commit to getting your little one sleeping through the night and see how you feel once you’re all getting the rest you need.

The results, I promise you, are nothing short of amazing.

-Erin Neri, BA. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist

​Kahn-Greene, E. T., Lipizzi, E. L., Conrad, A. K., Kamimori, G. H., & Killgore, W. (2006). Sleep deprivation adversely affects interpersonal responses to frustration. Personality and Individual Differences, 41(8), 
1433-1443. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2006.06.002

Gordon, A. M., & Chen, S. (2014). The Role of Sleep in Interpersonal Conflict: Do Sleepless Nights Mean Worse Fights? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(2), 168–175. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550613488952

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​So even if you manage to focus on what you’re learning and acquire the information, without sleep, that information won’t be properly stored in the brain. When called upon to access it, you’ll find yourself drawing a blank and making that face. You know the one your husband gets when you ask him to communicate his needs more often? That one.
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Now, I’m a firm believer that learning and education should be a lifelong pursuit, but once we’re out of school, learning becomes substantially more optional. For your kids, though, learning is their primary responsibility for the first 18-20 years of their lives, so considering how much they need to retain, the importance of a healthy sleep schedule is hard to overstate.

People who regularly get between 7-9 hours of sleep see significantly lower rates of obesity, high blood pressure, stroke, infections, depression, diabetes, inflammation, hypertension, heart disease, heart attacks, and heart failure. They also report higher satisfaction with their sex lives, better performance at work and take fewer sick days than people who
typically sleep less than 7 hours a night. (3)
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So, there’s no question that sleep, while it remains mysterious, is definitely an essential part of a healthy and happy lifestyle. But that all changes when you have a baby, right?

​I mean, you’ve brought a new life into this world, and you’re expected to sacrifice your sleep for a few years, maybe six or seven at the most, in order to respond to your baby’s needs, which, for some reason, they seem to have in spades in the middle of the night.
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​So, again, I’m not trying to make anyone paranoid by writing this. Still, out of all the conversations I’ve had with parents, I would have to say that mouth-breathing ranks somewhere below “abducted by aliens” on the list of parental concerns, so I wanted to call some attention to it.

Facial deformities and TMJ disorder aren’t really my area of expertise, but when it comes to sleep, I know my stuff, so allow me to expand a little on why snoring can ruin an otherwise wonderful, rejuvenating night.

As you probably already know, we all sleep in cycles. We transition from a very light sleep into deeper sleep, then deeper still, and finally into the dreaming stage, commonly known as REM sleep. During that first stage of light sleep, as well as in the REM stage, we’re very easily woken up. The cat jumped on the bed, your partner rolling over, or involuntary muscle twitches can startle us out of our glorious snoozing session, and then we’re back to the starting line, trying to get back to sleep.

In adults, these cycles last around 90 - 110 minutes, but in babies, they’re closer to 45, so the opportunity for them to wake up occurs more frequently throughout the night. (Which, I’m sure, isn’t news to anyone reading this. Every parent knows all too well how often babies tend to wake up during the night. Most delivery drivers probably know it as well, given how many mothers they’ve seen with the death- stare in their eyes after ringing the doorbell at the wrong time.)

And what causes baby to wake up in those light stages of sleep? More than anything else, noise. Barking dogs, garbage trucks, washing machines getting thrown off balance during the spin cycle, and quite often, the sound of their own snoring.

That’s not the only reason for waking up, mind you. If their airway is obstructed to the point where they temporarily stop breathing, what’s known as obstructive apnea, the body tends to startle itself out of sleep. (And I’m sure we’re all happy for that little fail-safe, even if it does lead to nighttime wake-ups.)

Now, I could rehash all the points I’ve made in my blog posts about the benefits of solid, consolidated sleep, as well as the detriments of sleep deprivation, but I’ll leave it to the National Institutes of Health and their extensive study on the subject if you need a refresher. Suffice it to say, your baby needs a lot of sleep, and it’s bad for them in a whole lot of ways if they don’t get it. Therefore, if your baby (regardless of age) is snoring, you should take immediate action.

That brings us to the question that every person who has ever slept next to a snorer has asked themselves. “How on earth do I stop this person from snoring?”

The first thing you should do is grab your phone and record your little one breathing while they sleep.

The second step is to take that recording to your pediatrician and play it for them. Just going to the doctor and telling them your baby’s snoring might not spark a lot of concern on their part, but being able to demonstrate the severity of the issue can light a little fire under their butts and prompt them to refer you to a respiratory specialist.
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Removal of the tonsils and/or adenoids is often the next logical step if their airways are significantly blocked. Don’t panic, though. The process isn’t nearly as intense as it might sound and is performed over half a million times a year in the US alone.

If your little one’s snoring isn’t severe enough to warrant surgery, however, you might benefit from some nasal strips, which you’ve probably seen advertised. They’re just thin strips of metal in a cotton sheath with adhesive on the back that sticks to the outside of the nose, gently pulling open the nasal passageways. It’s not the most elegant solution, but it does solve the problem temporarily.

​Just a final note to add here. If your baby is sick or congested, don’t jump to the conclusion that their snoring is permanent. A slight nasal congestion due to illness can cause baby to snore, but it should clear up when they recover. Try using a nasal bulb to suck the ickiness out of their nose and then a saline solution to clear up the passageways.

I know that, as mothers, we’ve got plenty to worry about without throwing unnecessary concerns into the mix. Still, if your baby’s snoring, it can have some serious consequences, and you should take it seriously. It’s preventable, and a better night’s sleep is waiting on the other side of the solution for your baby as well as the rest of your family.

- Erin Neri, B.A. Psychology, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Infant Mental Health, Integrated Feeding Specialist

As a pediatric sleep consultant and a mom of two boys who were both severely tongue-tied and lip-tied, I can say this with absolute certainty: tongue and lip ties are not something to be ignored.

These often-overlooked conditions can wreak havoc on a baby’s ability to feed, settle, and sleep well—and the long-term consequences of undiagnosed or untreated ties can extend far beyond infancy, into childhood, adolescence, and even adulthood.

What Are Tongue and Lip-Ties?
A tongue tie occurs when the thin band of tissue that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth is too tight, too short, or improperly positioned—restricting the tongue’s range of motion. A lip tie is similar but affects the upper lip, making it difficult to flange or move naturally.

While they might seem like minor anatomical quirks, they can have major impacts on everything from feeding and digestion to sleep and speech development.


How Tongue & Lip Ties Affect Babies
When a baby has restricted oral function due to a tongue or lip tie, it can:

• Make breastfeeding or bottle-feeding difficult, inefficient, or even painful for both baby and parent
• Cause the baby to gulp air or struggle with latch and suction, leading to gas, bloating, reflux, or symptoms often mistaken as “colic”
• Lead to frequent night waking, short naps, and overall poor sleep because the baby is uncomfortable or never truly full
• Result in poor weight gain or failure to thrive in more severe cases
• Cause clicking sounds, dribbling milk, or milk leaking from the corners of the mouth during feeds

I've worked with over 50 families where babies showed classic symptoms of reflux, colic, and sleep disturbances—only to find out, often after multiple missed diagnoses, that the root cause was a tongue and/or lip-tie. Once revised, their demeanour, feeding efficiency, and sleep improved dramatically. I was able to recognize the symptoms as more than just a lack of independent sleep skills and recommend an appropriate specialist to have baby assessed for oral ties. I am proud to say that I have been right every time. 


Misdiagnosis Is Shockingly Common
This is where my personal story hits home.

Four different specialists for each of my sons missed their ties. One child had his ties revised at 13 months (after over a year of struggle), while the other was revised at 9 weeks. And although our experiences were very different due to the class of the ties and the timing of treatment, what was consistent was the dramatic improvement that followed. We had different breastfeeding difficulties, different temperament challenges, other feeding difficulties, and one of my sons was even put on reflux meds he did not need. It was a challenge getting a proper diagnosis, even though I had healthcare nurses, lactation consultants and pediatricians at the hospital and weeks after birth advising on both of their care. 

So many well-meaning pediatricians, lactation consultants, and even ENTs may not be trained to properly assess tethered oral tissues. And this is why I always advocate for families to see the right specialist—often a pediatric dentist or ENT trained in diagnosing and treating ties with laser revision. 


Long-Term Consequences of Untreated Ties
If a tongue or lip tie is left untreated, the effects don't simply “go away” with time. Instead, they can evolve into more complex challenges:

• Speech delays or articulation issues
• Feeding difficulties as they begin solids
• Sleep-disordered breathing or even pediatric sleep apnea
• Picky eating or gagging/choking on certain textures
• Mouth breathing or poor oral posture
• Orthodontic issues, including narrow palate or misaligned teeth
• Persistent digestive issues due to inefficient chewing or swallowing

And in adulthood, these issues can persist as TMJ dysfunction, tension headaches, neck pain, and even sleep apnea.

What You Can Do If You Suspect a Tie
Trust your instincts. If feeding has never felt easy, if your baby is gassy, refluxy, unsettled, or waking every hour overnight—don’t accept “this is just colic” or “they’ll grow out of it” as the final word.

Here’s what I recommend:

1. Document the symptoms you’re seeing (feeding behaviour, weight gain, sleep struggles, etc.)
2. Get an evaluation by a provider with specialized training in oral restrictions (preferably a pediatric dentist who uses laser treatment and works alongside bodywork professionals)
3. Consider a team-based approach that includes lactation support, craniosacral therapy or chiropractic care, and follow-up after revision.

Sleep and Feeding Go Hand-in-Hand
When a baby can’t feed efficiently, they don’t sleep well. When they don’t sleep well, their bodies can’t digest properly, grow efficiently, or regulate emotions. Everything is connected.

If you're in the thick of sleepless nights, reflux struggles, or endless crying—and nothing seems to help--it may be time to look deeper. In many cases, tongue and lip ties are the missing piece of the puzzle.

Having my sons lip-ties and tongue-ties revised via laser revision was the best decision that I could have made for each of them. It changed their little life for the better almost instantly. It saved my breastfeeding relationship with my second son and he was finally able to get the calories that he needed to thrive at 9 weeks old. My first son was unable to eat anything outside of puree at 13 months old and his speech was already behind. On the way home from the revision he "talked" me ear off, using his tongue in so many new and exciting ways he never could before! He also had a huge growth spirt and gained weight he had been missing because breastfeeding and puree does not provide enough calories for a 13 month old. 

I've also helped dozens of families navigate this, and I’m here to help you too.

Need Support?
If you suspect your baby may have a tongue or lip tie—or you're dealing with constant sleep challenges—I offer sleep coaching that looks at the whole picture. Let's connect and find the root cause of what's keeping your little one from getting the restful sleep they deserve.

​Book a free sleep evaluation call with me here.

Do you yell at your kids? 

Because, hey, full disclosure, I yell at my kids. I lose my patience sometimes. My kids can push me to the point where I snap. 
I’m never proud of it because I know I’m a better parent when I keep my cool. Yelling can be effective, no doubt, but it always leaves me feeling like I dropped the ball. It’s the polar opposite of that wonderful feeling I get when I manage to resolve a situation through a calm, rational analysis of the problem, followed by a few suggestions on how to solve it. My child quickly settles down and starts considering the potential solutions I’ve offered, and before you know it, the situation is entirely under control. 


Aren’t those moments just the best? Isn’t that just the hole-in-one of parenting?  ​

​There’s a lot to be said for keeping calm around our children, and it goes well beyond making us feel like we’re good parents.

A 2014 study in Psychological Science, conducted jointly between researchers from the University of California, San Francisco, and New York University, separated mothers and their infants for a brief period of time, then exposed the mothers to some mild negative stressors. Upon being reunited with their babies, the infants embodied the same negative stress their mothers had experienced. It’s not known exactly how those emotions were transferred, but even without being exposed to the stressor itself, the infants sensed that their mother was stressed and emulated those emotions.

Another study from the University of California, Riverside, showed that parents who remained calm while helping their kids undertake a frustrating laboratory challenge helped their kids stay calm and focused.

So what does that mean in layperson’s terms? It means that whether you’re stressed or calm, you’re probably passing those feelings onto your little one. Your emotions are, quite literally, contagious. 

​Now, stress is a part of a parent’s life. There’s no avoiding it. Unless we’re blessed with some kind of superpower, we’re going to go off on our kids once in a while. I’m not suggesting you should beat yourself up in those moments, only that we should strive to minimize them. We should always be aspiring towards those hole-in-one moments.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re either in the midst of teaching your little one to sleep through the night or you’re thinking about getting started. If that’s the case, it’s a good bet you’re already sleep-deprived yourself. When we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re short-tempered, easily agitated, and more likely to raise our voices and give in to feelings of frustration. In short, we’re likely to be a little bit stressed out, and as we’ve seen, that stress permeates our kids, which stresses them out, which cranks up cortisol production, and there you have it. We’ve barely gotten started, and we’re already throwing up obstacles.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but before you even start the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep independently, I recommend you get yourself into a headspace where you commit to yourself that, no matter how tough things get, you’re going to try your absolute hardest to stay calm, cool and collected. Practice deep breathing exercises, meditate, do a little yoga, and do anything else you can think of to put you in a calm, tolerant, accepting state of mind. During sleep training it is so important to remain calm, cool, collected, a boring lump of confident zen with a little business sprinkled in.

​If you’re working with a partner, I suggest you do all of this together and discuss ahead of time who’s taking what shift so there’s no arguing during the night. And remember, if things go as expected, most babies start showing huge improvement by around night three, so relief is just on the other side of that hill.

And when the dust settles, and your little one is sleeping through the night, and you managed to get through the process without giving in to feelings of frustration and guilt, you’re not just going to feel like you hit a hole-in-one. You’re going to feel like you just won the World Parenting Championship. You’ll feel like the undisputed heavyweight champion of motherhood. 

Sleep-filled nights are right around the corner, mama! So be patient, be calm, cool and collected and it’ll all be behind you soon. 
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​By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the stories surrounding essential oils and aromatherapy. Suppose you’re living on this planet and have access to the internet. In that case, you’re undoubtedly familiar with the headlines about peppermint oil being a miracle cure for nausea or oregano oil’s powerful antifungal properties. Many of us have at least one friend from high school who tried their hand selling doTERRA oils, and it’s easy to see why. The global essential oil market was expected to reach almost $12 billion USD by 2022. (That’s not a typo, folks. Twelve billion. With a “B.”)
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Essential oils are big business, and people who like them like them a lot. 


What are essential oils used for? 
It would be a much more efficient approach to list the afflictions that essential oils aren’t said to remedy. If you ask the Essential Oil advocates, almost every affliction in the book seems to have an essential oil solution.


Doctors and researchers might be more likely to refer you to the success stories of tea tree oil for acne prevention or citrus oil’s ability to prevent bacterial growth since those are more scientifically established. But just for the sake of brevity, I can tell you that Essential Oils, as well as some of their individual components, possess antimicrobial, antiviral, antibiotic, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties as well as purported psychogenic effects such as relieving stress, treating depression, and aiding with insomnia.

Do essential oils work? 
It’s hard to say. Most studies involving essential oils haven’t been extended to clinical trials yet. People who use them will swear up and down that they’re effective. However, peer-reviewed scientific studies are still on the fence, largely because it’s challenging to study the effectiveness of many essential oils because they don’t contain one specific component. In an individual oil, up to 400 substances can be identified.


Are essential oils safe for babies? 
Sorry to keep being so ambiguous. That really depends on how the essential oils are used. So far, it appears that there are very few adverse side effects from essential oils when they’re used as directed. However, it’s important to note that, in the US, they do not require approval from the FDA.

​One notable exception is the estrogen-like effects noted for lavender and tea tree oils, which have been linked to breast enlargement in prepubescent boys when applied over long periods of time. 


Will lavender oil help my baby sleep?
I mean, maybe? Much like any other aromatherapy remedy, it might help a little, it might help a lot, or it might have no effect whatsoever. It depends on the baby.
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​What HAS been proven to help your baby sleep more soundly through the night is the development of their independent sleep skills. Babies who can get themselves back to sleep when they wake up at night sleep for longer stretches at a time and have lower proportions of active sleep and higher proportions of quiet sleep.

So, by all means, if you’re comfortable with using essential oils safely and you find them effective, then go to town. But suppose your baby needs a thorough, comprehensive approach to help address the root causes of their sleep issues. In that case, I’m ready to help with a step-by-step approach and all the support you need while they master those independent sleep skills. 
Better nights are right around the corner!
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As a sleep consultant, I often hear from parents concerned about their child's restless nights and daytime challenges. One question that frequently arises is: Is there a connection between poor sleep and ADHD symptoms in children? The answer is a resounding yes. Let's delve into the research to understand this link better.

The Sleep-ADHD Connection
Research indicates that up to 70% of children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) experience sleep disturbances, including difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early.  [More here and here.] These sleep issues can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, leading to increased inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. 

Moreover, sleep deprivation can mimic ADHD symptoms in children who do not have the disorder. Chronic lack of sleep may lead to difficulties in attention, behaviour, and emotional regulation, which are hallmark signs of ADHD. 

The Impact of Sleep on Cognitive and Emotional Functioning
Adequate sleep is crucial for a child's cognitive and emotional development. Insufficient sleep can impair executive functions, such as working memory and attention control, and increase emotional reactivity. [Read more here.] This impairment can be particularly pronounced in children with ADHD, who already struggle with these functions.

Furthermore, studies have shown that sleep difficulties can lead to increased daytime sleepiness, which negatively affects academic performance and social interactions. [Read more here.]

Addressing Sleep Issues to Manage ADHD Symptoms
Improving sleep quality can be a vital component in managing ADHD symptoms. Here are some strategies that may help:

• Establish a Consistent Bedtime Routine: A predictable routine can signal to the child that it's time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep.
• Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure the child's bedroom is quiet, dark, and cool. Limit exposure to screens before bedtime.
• Behavioural Interventions: Cognitive-behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) has been effective in treating sleep problems in children with ADHD. [More]
• Consult Healthcare Providers: In some cases, addressing underlying medical conditions or adjusting medications may be necessary to improve sleep.
• Consult a Sleep Consultant: Underlying anxiety around sleeping without parents in the room may be the cause for bedtime battles and night wakings. With this comes behaviours that develop over time and a battle of wills between parent and child. I have developed a program specifically for these children, where we can slowly give them the confidence they need to sleep independently and modify the behaviours that come with the fears of sleeping alone.   

Conclusion
The link between poor sleep and ADHD symptoms is well-established. Sleep disturbances can exacerbate the challenges faced by children with ADHD, and in some cases, sleep deprivation can mimic ADHD symptoms in children without the disorder. Addressing sleep issues through consistent routines, environmental adjustments, and professional interventions can significantly improve a child's overall functioning and quality of life.
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If you're concerned about your child's sleep patterns and their impact on behaviour, consider reaching out to a sleep consultant or healthcare provider for personalized guidance.

Note: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for concerns about your child's health.